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[Video] Office Hours: Professional Development Questions


Most of the questions y’all post at are technical ones, but there were a handful of interesting professional development and career ones in the queue, so I cherry-picked those for today’s episode:

  • 00:00 Introductions
  • 00:20 GI Joe DBA: Have you ever refused a consulting project \ opportunity and why?
  • 03:35 Doug E: How do you prefer building up your SQL vm’s in AWS? Terraform, docker, chef, etc?
  • 04:46 Hany: Hello Brent, Who is “Brent Ozar” in the Azure world?
  • 07:00 GI Joe DBA: What do you do when you’ve inherited a project and the business logic and institutional knowledge is overwhelming and it makes your “eyes glaze over”?
  • 08:35 DBA_preparing_for_jobsearch: what is your opinion on interviewers asking SQL Server internals questions instead of practical day-to-day activity based questions?
  • 10:26 Trushit: How would you handle clients/managers who want everything “ASAP”, especially their “ASAP” expectation is weeks and somethings months apart from my “ASAP”? Usually they come from business background and think that if something is easy to use, it must be easy to build.

Is Remote Work the New Normal for DBAs?

An intriguing Office Hours question came in through my PollGab room.

Anatoli asked, “Is remote work the new normal for DBAs? What are the pros / cons?”

I happened to be teaching an online training class yesterday, so I asked my attendees where they were attending the class from.

The vast majority – 27 out of 30 students – were attending the class from home. Now, naturally the audience represents a biased sample, because not everyone’s employer is generous enough to pay for my training classes. It’s possible that this audience represents a luckier group than average.

Just out of curiosity – not for any scientific purpose – I also posted a poll on Twitter that specifically called for folks who are DBAs:

I’ve been working remotely for almost two decades, so I don’t want to answer the pros & cons part – but I’ll leave it to you, dear reader, in the comments. What have been the pros and cons of doing DBA work from home?

Now is the Right Time for the 2022 Brent Ozar Unlimited Scholarship Applications.

Company News

We normally do this in the fall, but given last week’s news, I bet you can understand why we’re doing this a little early, dear reader.

You work at a charity or non-profit, helping them make a difference with data, fights for the rights of the underrepresented, or cares for them.

Maybe you write reports to help fundraisers do a better job of raising money to protect voting rights. Or maybe you’re a developer at an organization who prevents suicide amongst lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning youth. Or maybe you’re a sysadmin at an organization that provides reproductive health care, but you can’t get training because your organization desperately needs to devote all their financial resources to protecting women right now.

Pocket Square
Time for the heart.

That’s where I come in. I wanna help.

I want to empower you to continue making a difference. My scholarship program is simple: recipients get a Level 2 Bundle, which includes all of my recorded training, SQL ConstantCare®, and the Consultant Toolkit.

To give you an idea of the kinds of organizations I’ve supported over the years:

  • The American Institute of Physics is committed to the preservation of physics for future generations, the success of physics students both in the classroom and professionally, and the promotion of a more scientifically literate society.
  • UNOPS helps people build better lives and countries achieve peace and sustainable development.
  • International Justice Mission – a global organization that protects the poor from violence in the developing world.
  • Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation – 400 children are infected with HIV every day. I don’t know how to type those words without crying and taking a break from the keyboard.
  • Mencap – improving the lives of UK people with a learning disability.
  • The Smith Family is an Australian charity helping disadvantaged children get the most out of their education so they can create better futures for themselves.
  • Easter Seals-Goodwill Northern Rocky Mountain serves children and adults with autism and other disabilities, plus disadvantaged families in Idaho, Montana, Utah, and Wyoming.

The fine print:

  • You must work for a foundation, non-profit, charity, or similar company that’s doing good work. (If you work for Ginormous Profitable Global Corporation, you’re not going to make the cut, so don’t waste my time or yours.)
  • Your organization or government rules must allow you to receive free training. (Some companies prohibit their employees from accepting gifts.)
  • You must already have a job working with SQL Server. (This isn’t about getting a new job.)

Apply now. Applications close July 4th, aka Independence Day in the United States. I’ll just leave that there. In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, do what you can, with what you have, where you are.

I’m Coming Back to Israel for the Data.TLV Summit!

The Data.TLV Summit on September 15th is a big free conference on data engineering, business intelligence, data analysis, and … beer.

I’m excited to announce that I’ll be back in Tel Aviv again for it, and this time I’m teaching a pre-conference workshop on the cloud.

Running SQL Server in AWS & Azure

You’re used to managing your own SQL Servers in VMs, but now they’re asking you to work with the cloud.

You’re already comfortable installing, backing up, and performance tuning “regular” SQL Servers, and you just need to catch up with what’s different about the cloud.

You don’t want hype – you just want honest opinions from someone who doesn’t work for a cloud vendor.

In this one-day in-person workshop before the Data.TLV Summit, you’ll learn:

  • How to assess your current workloads
  • How to pick the right VM type for your workload
  • How to size storage for performance, not size
  • How to assess wait stats in cloud VMs
  • How to back up directly to cloud-native file systems
  • Where Azure Managed Instances & AWS RDS make sense

I’m Brent Ozar, and I’ve been managing client VMs in the cloud for over a decade. I’ll get you up to speed with unbiased facts, not hype, and save you valuable time as your career transitions to the next level.

There are only 100 seats available – register now, and then grab your seat at the free Data.TLV Summit too. See you in Tel Aviv!

I Wish SQL Server Warned About Hard-Coded Estimates.

Execution Plans

I wish we got a yellow bang on execution plans when SQL Server was making up an estimate out of thin air.

I’ll give you an example: if you compare two columns on the same table, looking to find rows where they’re equal, SQL Server has a hard-coded estimate that 10% of the rows will match.

I’ll query the Stack Overflow database’s Users table to find people whose DisplayName is the same as their Location. To give SQL Server a fighting chance at estimation, I’ll create indexes on both columns, in both orders, just to preemptively head off the folks in the comments section who will suggest it’s a stats problem:

Look at the far right operator of the actual execution plan and compare estimated versus actual rows:

SQL Server brought back 243 rows of an estimated 891,751:

That 891,751 sounds awfully scientific, doesn’t it? Like SQL Server put some serious thought into it? Well, that idealistic dream is shattered when you discover that the full table size just so happens to be 8,917,507 rows:

SQL Server’s estimating that exactly 10% of the rows will have a matching DisplayName and Location. That’s a ridiculous, completely made-up number that has no bearing on reality.

This is hard to spot
even in simple queries.

Let’s say you wanted to find those users with matching DisplayNames & Locations, and find the top 100 reputations amongst them:

Let’s also say your Users table has these three indexes:

Note that none of those three indexes cover the query – because the query needs both DisplayName & Location, AND Reputation.

One approach SQL Server could use would be to scan the clustered index, like this:

That approach does 141,970 logical reads:

Or, because so few users match, SQL Server could scan the DisplayName_Location index, make a list of the 243 users with matching values, and then only do key lookups for those 243 users, like this:

That version of the execution plan does just 49,633 logical reads.

But SQL Server doesn’t do either of those. Let’s take the index hints off and watch the smoke rise:

SQL Server thinks, “Hey, about 10% of the rows have matching DisplayNames and Locations! I’ll use the Reputation index, and I’ll scan it from top to bottom. For each high-ranking User, I’ll go do a key lookup, and I won’t have to look at too many rows before I find 100 that have matching DisplayNames and Locations! Hell, I don’t even have to allocate multiple CPU cores – I can do all this single-threaded because it’s so easy.”

Of course, all of that is wrong, and it leads to:

That’s 9 million reads on an object that only has 140K pages.

So what went wrong? Good luck finding out if you don’t know about the secret 10% estimate. There’s no yellow bang anywhere on this plan, but worse, there’s no indication that the whole plan is based on that wild guess. On a plan like this, most folks start their performance tuning journey by examining the Reputation index trying to figure out why the stats on there are wrong – when in reality, the issue’s something completely different.

And in complex real-world queries with multiple joins? Forget it. This kind of thing is completely stealthy in execution plans.

I wish SQL Server would warn folks about that.

But I know wishes don’t get us anywhere, so I’ll be a good blogger and I’ll finish this blog post with a call to action to upvote a feature request at I’ll just go log in and…

Oh God, my mortal enemy. Let’s try one, and:

Uh, yes, I know it’s taken – it’s taken by me, and I’m trying to log in, and I have the same problem with the other one, too.

It’s almost as if Microsoft doesn’t want to hear feedback from their customers.

[Video] Office Hours: Ask Me Anything About SQL Server


You posted questions at, upvoted the ones you’d like to see me cover, and I did the needful:

Here’s what we covered:

  • 00:00 Introductions
  • 01:19 chandwich: Hi Brent. I’ve been unsuccessful in my attempt to convince my employer I need formal SQL training. I help manage hundreds of customers’ SQL Servers and Applications, but they refuse to pay for my training. Should I leave? Should I just pay for it myself? Any advice?
  • 03:45 Mehdi: Hi Brent! Do you recommend using parallel hint?
  • 04:16 DBAInHiding: You’ve mentioned often that there’s usually only one person in the DBA role for a given company (larger corporations may have teams instead). If you’re a solo DBA, how can you take a restful vacation or any time off when you need it most?
  • 06:07: DBA_Willing_to_learn: Hi Brent, Hope you are doing well. I would be interested to know about one feature in SQL server 2022 which would interest you the most and why ?. Thank you in advance for answering my question.
  • 07:16 Neil: Hi Brent. We’re a growing SASS provider. We have no dedicated DBA resource, but recognize this is something that is required. Any recommendations about what kind of things we should be looking for?
  • 08:25 Sean C: Do you have any “petty” or “ridiculous” hills that you will die on regarding anything in SQL or SQLServer?
  • 11:54 Mark E: When you were a DBA, what were your top distractors and time wasters?
  • 12:42 Jim: We have a stored procedure running on SqlAzure that brings back a list of hotels for a given city. The first time it executes against a particular city it is very slow 14-20 seconds. Subsequent runs querying the same city are fast 2-5 seconds. Having trouble figuring out why.
  • 14:08 Carrie Jeffries: Discontinued database engine functionality in SQL Server Standard going from 2014 – 2019?
  • 15:21 Juan: Do you have any common gotcha’s to avoid when adding a computed column to a table?
  • 16:46 Yitzhak: Do you have a suggested way to see how much space a long running active transaction is currently contributing to the transaction log? Worried about maxing out transaction log.
  • 20:44 seems_like_avi: What are the downsides of using TVFs from a performance perspective? It seems like they can reduce code duplication and make a code base much easier to maintain and expand. When would you recommend using TVFs vs not using them?
  • 21:54 Lenny: How do you decide whether to start with query tuning or index tuning on SQL Server with occasional performance issues?
  • 23:23 MikeNM: Regarding your post about SCOM the other day. Can you recommend any decent guides to setting up SCOM for SQL? I have been both SCOM admin and now a DBA and trying to convince my peers that moving away from SQL e-mail alerts isn’t more trouble than it’s worth.
  • 24:34 Maksim: What are the pros / cons of doing encryption using SQL TDE vs using SAN level encryption?
  • 26:30 SQLPadawan: Hi Brent, I just read your “Data Model for Gender” post…(Sorry if this is the wrong place to bring this up) You still have a follower around here. I just will continue to read your blog and go thru your training. You’re the best SQL Server teacher and career model 4 all of us.
  • 27:05 RoJo: Want to upgrade from sql2016 with Sync-AG to latest version. What is best method to upgrade, for least downtime and stability (and AG issues) ? Any gotchas?
  • 28:15 IWantToBeYouWhenIGrowUp: I’m interested in switching to a MacBookPro as my primary development/work laptop but have some reservations with a major platform shift. How is the Mac laptop performing? Are you using the M1 version or Intel? What VM manager/container are you using to host locally?
  • 30:05 Lenny: Who is the Brent Ozar for all things related to SQL Server CI/CD? 30:036 Anatoli: What are the tell tale signs that your business has outgrown log shipping? Is AG the next step up for SQL HADR?
  • 31:39 Zeratul: Is it therefore wise to boost CTFP from the default value of 5 to something like 50?
  • 32:47 missing the updates thoughts: hi brent! my friend was wondering why you don’t post blog-style posts on anymore with every new CU like you used to. miss reading your thoughts every CU!
  • 33:55 Jimin: Do you see any new SQL 2022 box checking features that Microsoft included for competition reasons?
  • 35:38 Gomer: Would DBA Brent ever leave a higher paying job for a lower paying job?

Pour One Out for Distributed Replay. It’s Deprecated in SQL Server 2022.

SQL Server 2022

I love how Microsoft treats deprecated and discontinued features in SQL Server.

No, seriously. I give Microsoft a lot of sarcasm and lip around here, but Microsoft takes serious care to make it easy to upgrade versions without worrying about your application breaking. If you disagree, hear me out for a minute.

“Discontinued” means it’s dead and removed.

The Books Online page for discontinued database engine functionality is pretty doggone short. There have only been a few things deprecated in the last several years:

  • Big Data Clusters
  • PolyBase scale-out groups
  • A few database-scoped configuration options
  • And a few others you’re not gonna miss, like the 32-bit version of SQL Server

This is fantastic. If you’ve written a new app in the last 10 years and it used SQL Server as a back end, odds are every query you wrote is still going to compile and execute today. Contrast that with the nightmare that developers have to deal with around .NET and .NET Core, and the difference is night and day. SQL Server queries just work, and they’ve worked the same for decades, with almost all additive changes only.

Deprecated means alive,
but it’s walking dead.

The Books Online page for SQL Server 2022’s deprecated features is tomorrow’s obituaries. These are features Microsoft has publicly walked away from, and while the features are still in the product, they’re not getting any love, and they might be removed at any time.

For SQL Server 2022, Microsoft deprecated Distributed Replay.

The idea behind the feature was that you’d capture a trace against your production environment, set up another environment for load testing or QA testing, and then replay that exact same workload against it. You’d be able to measure which queries got better or worse, and how.

The reality was a complete mess. It was a giant pain in the rear to set up and use, to the point where I got frustrated with it within a few hours and asked my peers about their experiences with it. I got back a string of four-letter words – everybody really struggled to get it across the finish line. Over subsequent versions, Microsoft made token efforts to improve it, but never really gave it the love it required.

The writing was on the wall when Distributed Replay didn’t support collecting a trace from SQL Server 2019.

Now, the writing’s getting carved into stone. My guess is that even in SQL Server 2022, Microsoft still won’t support gathering data from SQL Server 2019, which means this thing’s already dead. Sure, you can technically use it with SQL Server 2017, but…

So what do you use instead?

Me personally, I don’t believe that capturing a production workload trace has ever been a good long-term idea. I’ve written about the problems with database load testing before, and my opinion still stands: it’s a really, really hard problem, much harder than it looks at first glance.

If you do wanna try it, check out Gianluca Sartori’s open source WorkloadTools.

Otherwise, you need application-level load testing instead. Something needs to call the app’s APIs, generate the relevant workload, and get the app to send in the appropriate queries. Plus, then you’re testing the entire stack – not just the database server.

New Buying Option: Lifetime Access to Class Recordings

Company News

Wanna buy my Recorded Class Season Pass: Fundamentals or Mastering, but you don’t want an annual subscription?

Recorded Class Season PassNow you can buy either of those bundles, pay one price, and get permanent access to the classes without worrying about recurring fees.

The price is the same as if you’d have had the subscription for 2 years.

So you can kinda think of it as a gamble: if you can finish the classes in 1 year, you’re best off buying a subscription, but then canceling before the year is over.

Or, if you’re busy, or if you think you want to revisit the content over and over, you can buy the Lifetime Access version without worrying about when your content will expire.

I will say this: every month, I get emails from students who beg for just one more month of access because they postponed all year long, and then realized their subscription was almost up. I know how it goes: work is a zoo!

Update: I’ve gotten a lot of questions about buying the Level 2 Bundle for a lifetime. That isn’t an option at this time – that bundle includes software like SQL ConstantCare and the Consultant Toolkit. That software & online service takes an ongoing investment to maintain, so we don’t do lifetime pricing on that – just the class recordings.

[Video] Office Hours: Palm Springs, California Edition


On a road trip from San Diego to Vegas, I stopped in Palm Springs and answered your highly-upvoted questions from

Here’s what we covered:

  • 00:00 Introductions
  • 00:45 i_use_lowercase_for_select: Hi Brent, just wanted to give you my support on your May 24th blog.
  • 01:19 SQL Crooner: Who would win a SQL trivia contest between Brent Ozar, Pinal Dave, Paul Randal, and Erik Darling?
  • 03:13 Brandon F: Does SQL 2022 have any “killer” performance features that make it a must have upgrade from SQL 2019?
  • 05:40 YouGottaDoWhatYouGottaDo: Hi Brent, do you know (or do you have any idea) if MS use telemetry to do statistics on what SQL Server features are the most/less used and appreciated by users, in order to model or deprecate features in new versions?
  • 06:49 Too Much Spare Time: How much time if any did you/do you spend running sp_helptext on system procs/views/functions, etc (or is it just me that likes to nose about in these…?) and wondering about the souls who wrote it all? Most interesting thing you’ve seen in a system object?
  • 08:11 Jacob H: Hi Brent, you mentioned previously that you recommend turning off adaptive memory grants and scalar function in-lining in SQL Server 2019. Can you elaborate more on the problems you have found with those features?
  • 09:29 Have you tried turning it off and on: We want to implement RCSI on a (10k batches/sec / 4.5TB / 7K session) server to help reduce blocking. I understand the additional tempdb requirements, however what QA do you suggest to make sure the output to queries wont be affected? Any books/videos to consult?
  • 11:34 Keller: I have a query with inner join and 2 more columns in the WHERE clause.Join columns are not primary key.What is the best way to create index on both tables.
  • 12:53 Edward Anil Joseph: The auto-numbering for identity column got inserted late. The next number was inserted before the actual number should be inserted. Example: 1 was inserted at 2022-05-31 00:00:01.009 and 2 was inserted at 2022-05-31 00:00:01.001 How is this possible? Something to do with disk?
  • 15:30 Preben: In your training classes do you touch the subject of using apply instead of joining to force a specific query plan? If yes, what training.
  • 18:53 Wrap-up and discussing my Porsche 944 Turbo

Office Hours Speed Round, Text Edition

Not all of the questions y’all post at are hard – some of ’em can be answered in just a line or two:

Q: Hany: Hello Brent, Who’s “Brent Ozar” in the Azure world?

Microsoft, and I wrote why here.

Q: Neutron Jack: Do you see any concerning TSQL deprecations in SQL 2022?

No, neither deprecated nor discontinued.

Q: MuleDonkey43: Have scalar functions improved much in SQL 2022?


Q: Looking For An Anti-Histagram: Our databases are many years old and over time have a lot of auto generated stats on the tables. I’m sure many are not used, is there an easy way to tell?

Not accurately, no.

Q: Yakira: Is there good way to identify the top 10 SQL queries using the most worker threads?

What’s the problem you’re trying to solve? If you’re working on THREADPOOL, I have a training class on that.

Q: Youssef: Do you have any recommended books for learning the XML behind a SQL query plan?

The XML, no.

Q: Ronaldo: Since SQL monitoring is broken in latest SQL 2022 CTP, do you foresee Microsoft kicking current monitoring vendors to the curb and creating their own commercial monitoring software?

You mean Microsoft System Center?

Q: Juan: Do you have any tips / precautions when using a table as a queue with RCSI?

Not RCSI specifically, but read this.

Q: Mashrur: Hello Brent, I completed your column store index training recently and it blew my mind. On that training you mentioned you only scratch the surface of table partitioning. You please kind enough to provide some advance reference (blog, YouTube, Paid) regarding table partitioning.

Thanks, glad you liked it! Sure, here you go.

Q: Kagamine Len: What are your thoughts about requiring a formal retention policy for all new tables created on production? Must have, nice to have, optional?

That’s determined by your company’s compliance department.

Q: Enrique: What are your thoughts on the new Json enhancements for SQL 2022?

I think it’s dumb to spend $7,000 USD per CPU core to use SQL Server as a file server. Microsoft thinks it’s a great idea. Go figure.

Q: Kol Dar: Is unbalanced parallelism a mainstream problem that SQL DBA’s should be regularly on the lookout for?

No. Use the methodology I teach you in the first module of Mastering Server Tuning.

Q: Joe: Good day to you Brent! The hardware provider allocated and presented 196 GB to our SQL 2016 Standard VM. After reading your BOU Weekly Links, June 6th Edition email it got me thinking. Would there be any benefit to setting the Max Memory above the 128 GB limit?

I don’t have experience with that. If you regularly need over 128GB RAM, you probably need Enterprise.

Q: Shlumiel: Are include fields part of your 5 x 5 suggestion for NC indexes?


Q: Dominique B: Hi Brent, wanted to start by “I’m a big fan of your work” but that may sound a bit cheesy 😉 I’m reading about the memory optimize tempdb and want to validate my understanding… This feature will make the old “rule” for the number of tempdb data file an old story isn’t it ?

No, and I explain why in this module of my Fundamentals of TempDB class.

Q: Eric Swiggum: There was a recent infrastructure outage, once resolved a SQL transactional replication was not applying changes, however we were not alerted. Our Undistributed Commands alert failed us too. Should I monitor “Not Running” statuses for these publications too?

Every now and then, on live webcasts, a question makes me lose my mind. I rant and rave and throw things. And I realize, as I write this, that I’ve never actually done that in text format.

So here it comes, Eric.

(Deep breath)

Should you monitor something that caused an outage?

Is that what you’re asking me?


Why bother? Screw it. Who cares? It’s not like outages matter, or that it’s your job. Forget monitoring. Just let the outages keep happening, and let your phone keep ringing. Life is meaningless. Death comes for everyone. Eat Arby’s.

And that concludes another episode of Office Hours.

[Video] Office Hours: Vail Fireside Chat


You posted and upvoted questions at, and I sat down by the fire on a chilly evening in Vail, Colorado to answer ’em. I was driving cross-country, heading back from a road trip to see my mom.

Here’s what we covered:

  • 00:00 Introductions
  • 00:46 Ms. Cosmos: What are the top traits for the perfect DBA?
  • 02:09 Boris Karloff: What is your top SQL audit horror story?
  • 05:31 Midwest DBA: My friend is assisting with designing a new Data Warehouse solution for the BI team at his company. They really want HA and DR for their DW. I’ve never managed a DW that had HA/DR. What issues could occur if with using FCI for HA and Log shipping for DR, or AG for HA?
  • 07:58 i_use_lowercase_for_select: Hi Brent, I just watched Bob Ward’s pitch of SQL2022. Does compat. level 160 really solve the parameter sniffing problem as suggested by Microsoft?
  • 09:59 Jonas: Did your parents instill you with the desire to teach? Were they teachers?
  • 11:22 StatisticsRules: Hi Brent! What are you most excited about in the coming release of SQL Server 2022? Thanks for your epic contributions to the community!
  • 13:05 Jim: What is your opinion of DOP feedback in SQL 2022? Will this get shops over the finish line?
  • 15:15 VegasDBA: How are you enjoying living in Las Vegas? Any off the beaten path places you would recommend? I’ve been here for 20+ years and love it.
  • 16:17 Don’t Bother Andy: Is CU16 ready for prime time?
  • 18:00 MergeItLikeItsHot: Hi Brent, we have some very sensitive tables that we work on and before we update any value on that table we backup the entire table for fast recovery, do you recommend using temporal tables instead?
  • 19:26 SQLForTheWin: What is the best way to manage index deployments across multiple RDS instances? We have an application deployed in three regions and we need to deploy the same indexes across the instances.
  • 20:30 TurnerBurn: I have a table that contains no primary key but has a non-unique clustered index containing 3 columns and, of course, the 4-byte clustering key SQL tacks on for uniqueness. Is there an advantage with this design or would an id column PK and non-clustered indexes be better?
  • 21:39 Jason Burton: How do you stay current with such a variety of skillsets?
  • 25:16 Beaker: Are DBA’s typically disliked by their co-workers? Should we care?

[Video] Office Hours in Moab, Utah


On a cross-country trip, I stopped in Moab, Utah and answered your top-voted questions from

Here’s what we covered:

  • 00:00 Introductions
  • 01:20 YourbiggestFan: Do you have any plans to write an Azure first version of the first responder kit (sp_blitzfirst and sp_bitzcache)which can get the metrics from query store and thus overcome the issue of dmv stats resets on Azure platform? On PAAS platforms need a reliable method to analyse perf.
  • 03:06 T.C.: What are the most under utilized features for SQL monitoring software?
  • 04:24 Drew Furgiuele: What’s the most common “complaint” you hear from DBAs these days? Is it a lack of funding for good hardware/higher cloud performance tiers? Training budgets? Developers?
  • 07:04 Zee: Hi Brent, How can a ORM developer (hibernate, spring) get better at sending queries to databases. And how a DBA can convince ORM developers that a 15k characters query with 29k output every 30k times is not a very good thing and can be done better in a stored procedure.
  • 10:01 Yousef: What are the top unforgiveable DBA mistakes?
  • 11:25 Ryan: Where do you see the DBA profession going in the next 5-10-15 years?
  • 15:35 Hany Helmy: Hello Brent, my friend is searching for your article on “Your first day as a DBA in a new company”, couldn’t find it can you help him?
  • 16:05 Dave Dustin: Of all the database project CI/CD pipelines you’ve seen in your career, do you have any recommendations or tips?
  • 17:16 Does Basically Anything: I know your standard recommendation for storing BlitzFirst outputs are every 15 minutes, retaining for 7 days. What would be the maximum you’d recommend if a friend were interested in retaining more, or collecting all the data at more frequent intervals? (Using ALL output tables)
  • 17:52 Harika: Do you have have an opinion for when the SQL Log backup job should be temporarily stopped on a busy SQL2019 OLTP server (i.e. index maintenance, full backups, diff backups, etc)?
  • 18:52 Gülnaz: What post update sanity checks do you like to perform after applying a SQL cumulative update?
  • 19:58 Midwest DBA: Have you ever worked with a Very large company? Target, Walmart, GMC, etc. Are their DBA team’s full of highly skilled DBAs, or are they much like everywhere else ,i.e. one expert and few regular folks?
  • 22:11 Pessel: Who is the community’s “Brent Ozar” for all things SQL Security related?
  • 22:51 NullPointer: My friend wants to know the best way to get some type of high availability (willing to have 30m-1hr of downtime). They have 1 database per client (sitting at 50 dbs but will grow) and use std edition with no dedicated DBAs (just devs). Suggestions (always on, log shipping, etc.)?
  • 23:20 Alec Roques: Upon checking a table with sp_BlitzIndex, do you ever drop indexes with a low amount of reads to a high amount of writes (for example, Reads: 80 (56 seek 24 scan) Writes: 670,011)? How do you make that determination? Or will you wait until you see locking and blocking problems?
  • 24:05 Preben: Are you open to visit belgium?
  • 25:06 Latka: How do you determine the optimal time interval for backing up the transaction log, (30, 15, 10, 5 minutes, etc) if transaction log size / growth is primary concern ?
  • 26:55 MancDBA: Non-SQL question – You have talked previously about some of your awesome cars (Helmut, Ferrari etc). What do you use as a daily driver? Cheers!

SQL Server 2022 Tells You Why A Query Can’t Go Parallel.

Until 2022, when a query couldn’t go parallel, all we got was a really cryptic note in the execution plan properties saying NonParallelPlanReason = CouldNotGenerateValidParallelPlan.

But starting with SQL Server 2022, even when I’m running under older compatibility levels:

The execution plan gives me way more details:

Awww yeah! Here’s another example using a scalar user-defined function:

The actual plan now clearly explains that our query can’t go parallel because of the scalar function:

If our query uses two parallelism blockers at once:

The actual plan only shows one of the two reasons:

And the XML doesn’t show both reasons, either.

Still, that’s a really small complaint – at least SQL Server 2022 shows ANY of the reasons, which starts you down the road of performance tuning this query. I’ll take it!

SQL Server 2022 doesn’t remove those parallelism blockers, though.

If I change the compatibility level to 160 (2022), the table variable still goes single-threaded, as does the scalar function:

The execution plan still plays the sad trombone:

Because it doesn’t look like SQL Server 2022 is fixing the rampant issues with scalar function inlining.

[Video] Office Hours: Professional Development Edition


I spent an entire video just talking about 3 questions y’all posted to because these were pretty big-picture and important.

I know it sounds goofy and sentimental, but I genuinely care about y’all’s careers, and I want you to work as little as practical in order to spend as much time with your loved ones as possible. So here we go:

What we covered:

  • Kinneret: When are work communications appropriate for a chat channel such as Slack? When should those communications take place via direct audible communications (phone, webex, etc)?
  • WhatsUpDocs: Hi Brent, have you ever needed to look at business documentation (check business rules/logic) when consulting or as an employee, but it was severely lacking? Recently joined a different team in work and trying to find simple answers to questions is an uphill struggle…
  • Roy: Hi Brent, How did you manged to upskill yourself early in your career with a busy full time job? What recommendations will you give to somebody early in his DBA career?

Who’s Hiring in the Database Community? June 2022 Edition

Who's Hiring

Is your company hiring for a database position as of June 2022? Do you wanna work with the kinds of people who read this blog? Let’s set up some rapid networking here. If your company is hiring, leave a comment.

The rules:

  • Your comment must include the job title, and either a link to the full job description, or the text of it. It doesn’t have to be a SQL Server DBA job, but it does have to be related to databases. (We get a pretty broad readership here – it can be any database.)
  • An email address to send resumes, or a link to the application process – if I were you, I’d put an email address because you may want to know that applicants are readers here, because they might be more qualified than the applicants you regularly get.
  • Please state the location and include REMOTE and/or VISA when that sort of candidate is welcome. When remote work is not an option, include ONSITE.
  • Please only post if you personally are part of the hiring company—no recruiting firms or job boards. Only one post per company. If it isn’t a household name, please explain what your company does.
  • Commenters: please don’t reply to job posts to complain about something. It’s off topic here.
  • Readers: please only email if you are personally interested in the job.

If your comment isn’t relevant or smells fishy, I’ll delete it. If you have questions about why your comment got deleted, or how to maximize the effectiveness of your comment, contact me.

Each month, I publish a new post in the Who’s Hiring category here so y’all can get the latest opportunities.

Office Hours Speed Round: Text Edition

Some questions that come in at have such straightforward answers that I don’t need to cover them on video. It’s time for a rapid-fire speed round:

Q: Uncle Buck: Is there a good way to tell if a given include column for a NC index is being used at all?


Q: Steve E: Hi Brent, In the past you have shared links to a “reading list” tool you used to bookmark various online articles and share them with others,what was the tool please? I’d like to bookmark the various articles I’ve read over the years and be able to easily share those with others

For bookmarks I use Pinboard, and here are mine. For RSS feeds and newsletters I use Feedly, and here are my shared items.

Q: FrankieG: When faced with hundreds, if not thousands of NonSargable predicates over a wide range of solutions/products that have been in production for years in a huge base of legacy code how to begin to “fix” the problem?

Use sp_BlitzFirst @SinceStartup = 1 to find your server’s top wait types, and use sp_BlitzCache to find the top queries causing those wait types. I explain more about that process in my How I Use the First Responder Kit class.

Q: Faruk: Is it a fair expectation for employers to expect DBA’s to also write reports (SSRS, Power BI, etc)?

Generally, development and administration are separate job roles.

Q: Luis: Any performance gotcha’s to watch out for when the query plan is using the Filter operator to satisfy a non-sargable search predicate?

If you understand enough to write the question, then you already understand the answer. Performance will be bad.

Q: Last Action Hero: What are your thougths about contained databases?

I explained the problems with ’em here in 2009: part 1, part 2, and part 3. As I predicted, most DBAs have still never seen these in the wild, nor do I expect them to in the near term.

Q: Jose Luis: I need to migrate my existing DWH in SQL2012 to a new OnPremises SQL 2019. Should I consider AlwaysON for it? maybe SQL Failover Cluster? Or just a BIG Standalone Server? Most of my DBs are in Single Recovery Model.

For personalized architecture planning, hire me for consulting.

Q: Reed Richards: What is the best resource for extended events training?

Start with Jonathan Kehayias’ series 31 Days of Extended Events.

Q: Punxsutawney Phil: I thought that when you refresh a database on a nightly schedule for reporting/production use, that’s considered a “groundhog day” method and should be avoided. Yet, I’ve seen you twice in recent months recommend that as a solution to refresh production reporting databases.

Groundhog Day refers to the practice of reloading data via logged methods: inserts, updates, deletes, SSIS, etc. Restoring a backup is not a logged method.

Q: Leon Spangenberg: I keep seeing trace flag 3604 being turned on and off in my sql log. Why would someone do this?

That is detailed here.

Q: Max_Null :A very small table in Azure SQL used to keep track of locking in the application (~15 columns, no triggers) and has no more than 3 rows at any given time. Other than stale stats and blocking, is there any other reason that this table would be slow for a simple SELECT?

If you’re trying to track locks in a table, you’re going to hit locking problems, period, full stop, end of story. Bad design idea. Do something different.

Q: Alan: Do you think cheap cloud storage, like s3, will eventually replace old fashioned tape libraries and off-site backups?

For many of my clients, it already has.

Q: FrankieG: Hi Brent, can you talk about and explain why upgrading to the rewritten cardinality estimator (i.e. upgrading SQL Server from v2012 to v2016) causes serious performance degradation and the only way around it (that I’m aware of) is to force using the legacy estimator in settings?

Yes, I cover that and the alternatives in my Mastering Query Tuning and Mastering Parameter Sniffing classes.

Eyes up here, kidQ: Debbie Downer: Does Stack Overflow db have more downvotes than upvotes? If so, why?

You can download the database here for free to find out.

Q: Stan Sitwell: Is PostgreSQL consulting as opportune and lucrative as SQL Server consulting?

I have no idea – I don’t consult on PostgreSQL.

Q: Pina: Should I drop temp tables at the end of my stored procedures? What if there is one stored procedure that calls a bunch of other stored procedures, each of which has several to many potentially large temp tables? Is there a performance gain to dropping them? A performance loss?

I cover this in my Fundamentals of TempDB class.

Q: Ravi Pratap Singh: what are the books need to cover for good SQL understanding

Check out this list.

Q: Does Basically Anything: Hi Brent! When looking to tweak MAXDOP from a “sane default” to the best setting for my workload, what metrics should I pay most attention to as I try different MAXDOP settings to test the performance difference?

I cover that in the parallelism module of the Mastering Server Tuning class.

Q: DGW in OKC: Have you ever used encrypted connections (like SSL) to a SQL instance? Is there ever a reason one might be required to do this?

No, but I’ve heard of security teams requiring it in some cases.

Q: Need4Speed: A friend asked if there was a way to bring a detached database back online if you are missing one of the three data files.

Detaching a database is dumb. Deleting a database is dumb. If someone did *two* dumb things to a database, I’d say you know what, I can’t trust those files. Let’s restore from backup. If that person tried to fight me, I’d say, “You’re the one who did two dumb things already – how’s about you step away from the keyboard and cool off for a while, and let the pros take over?”

Q: Kirk Saunders: Are there situations where you would use a RIGHT OUTER JOIN? I have found I can put that table higher in the JOIN structure and LEFT OUTER instead. I just don’t want to miss out on a solution option if there is a real strong use case for it.

Me personally, I’ve never used it.

Q: Have you tried turning it off and on: We want to implement RCSI on a (10k batches/sec / 4.5TB / 7K session) server to help reduce blocking. What QA do you suggest, and any books/videos to consult?

Check out the isolation levels module in my Mastering Server Tuning class.

Q: KIRBY W BURKHOLDER: While watching a recording of “Mastering Query Tuning” recently, I remember you mentioning a problem the CE has with “Ford” and “Mustang”. My friend has the problem but all Fords are Mustangs and all Mustangs are Fords. Vendor supplied code that he can’t change. Any suggestion

Leave a comment on the training class module. There’s space for longer questions in there, including PasteThePlan options to include the execution plan, so I can see the exact problem you’re talking about.

Q: George: What is your favorite way to measure storage speed in Azure SQL?

The fast/easy storage test is CrystalDiskMark. It’s not completely definitive – it’s just a hot-or-not test – but in most cases, the storage is nooooot hot, so I don’t need a definitive test.

Q: Neil: We always used default instances. Planning on a multi-instance server (in test) to host multiple web environments with copies of the same db’s on each instance. What are some ‘gotchas’ to look out for? I’d probably give each instance its own data/log folder names, anything else?

The term you’re looking for is instance stacking.

Q: Doug E: Do you ever bother with reconciling AWS / Azure bills to actual resource usage?

Yes, we’ve done it for SQL ConstantCare’s own back end during performance tuning.

Q: SQL Serenader: Hi Brent, We have seen an uptick in dropped connections. Do you think using the deprecated SQL Native Client 11 driver, instead of the more connection resilient ODBC 17 or OLEDB 18 drivers could have anything to do with our connection issues?

I have no idea.

Q: SeeCoolGuy: what is your opinion if you find your colleague forcing the engine join hint to use a hash join vs letting the query engine find it’s own join criteria?

That colleague might have attended my Mastering Parameter Sniffing class where I cover hint usage.

Q: Philip: I’m getting a warning against an Azure SQL DB saying “Non-parameterized queries are causing performance issues” with Azure wanting to turn on ALTER DATABASE Name SET PARAMETERIZATION FORCED. Are you able to talk about this a little, and how you would go about investigating?

I assume you’re getting that warning in sp_BlitzCache or sp_Blitz. Copy the URL into your browser and read that. I’ve written extensively there on how to fix it.

Q: Enzo: Hi Brent, As you like fast cars, will you be attending the first F1 race in your home town next year (Las Vegas 2023)?

Yes, if I can get good tickets.

Q: Roadtripping fool.: Any chance you can make these into a podcast like your old office hours? I used to make my family listen to them on road trips. Ah memories.

No, it took time and cost money.

Q: Michael Devor: Hi Brent, My friend would like to know if there are any special considerations or concerns when tuning indexes on a partitioned table?

Yes. Have your friend attend my Mastering Index Tuning class.

Q: SQL Crooner: What is your opinion of the Parquet file format?

I have no opinion. Never used it, never opened it. Nothing against it.

Q: Festus: What percent of the time do you see customer tables where the primary key / clustered index are on same vs different columns?

Way, way, way less than 1%.

Q: prasad: What r the steps we should take to learn sql in depth?

Use it, help other people solve their problems with it, and then teach it.

Q: Eric S: How many years before our AI overlords displace human DBA’s?

OtterTune is already working towards that for MySQL and PostgreSQL, and I’ll be excitedly watching their progress. I think it’s a cool problem. Given Microsoft’s lack of progress on the automatic indexing front, and given how little of that is coming in SQL Server 2022, I think our jobs are still safe for a long, long time.

Q: SQL_Ninja: Hi Brent, what is your thoughts about SQL server vulnerability assessment functionality or would you recommend any other third party software for similar assessment ?

I don’t get the chance to try every tool out there, so I’m not really qualified to give a good review.

Q: cloudy: Hi Brent, we are currently use on-prem sql server for dwh & reporting, my company is starting to run some workload on aws, what’s your take on migration to Amazon Aurora (we can change the application to support it)?

What’s the problem you’re trying to solve?

Q: Anatoli: What is the best cloud database technology / brand for a shop that has plenty of developers but doesn’t want a DBA?

Use the one most of your developers are most familiar with. That’ll result in faster delivery to customers.

Q: Joe: Hi Brent, Under what circumstances would you set Min SQL Memory to anything other than zero?

None, because I hate instance stacking.

Q: Maksim: What is your opinion of disabling the guest and SA users in SQL Server?

I don’t really care. My bigger issue is usually shared passwords, like app passwords, and disabling accounts doesn’t fix that.

Q: Haydar: Do you foresee any DB company acquisition / buyouts on the horizon? What company takeover is the odd’s on favorite?

I don’t track the business side of the industry.

Q: Gary: Hi Brent. What’s your take on the number of instances one Production DBA should be responsible for? Automation helps and it’s rare everything breaks or needs service at the same time, but it can be a burden for one employee to manage 200+ instances. Thanks!

See this post.

Q: Joel: Do you ever look at sys.dm_os_schedulers for performance related troubleshooting?

Yes. We talk about it in my Mastering Server Tuning class.

Q: ?akir: What is your favorite tool / technique for monitoring failed SQL agent jobs?


Q: Gözde: How often should we back up SQL agent job definitions?

Back up your system databases daily. Jobs are stored in the msdb database.

Q: Ronaldo: Is tech documentation reading a lost art? If so, why?

Yes. Words are great for searchability, but videos are often easier for beginners to approach. Thus the rise in just-in-time learning: people searching for something, finding a 5-minute YouTube video on it, watching it while doing the thing, and then discarding the video, and never really learning the technique. I’m fine with that. It works for beginners.

Q: Leon Spangenberg: Hello Brent. I am inserting row into an existing table. However when ever I do the insert with a predefined set of filter the insert just does not work. I don’t get an error its just like sql sits there and does nothing. Any advice?

Use sp_WhoIsActive to see what it’s waiting on.

Q: Brent: Why are so many of these answers pointing people towards a training class?

Because the answers are 30-60 minutes long, and that’s why I teach classes. I love these questions, don’t get me wrong – but I love them so much that I’ve built entire presentations to do justice to their answers.

I’m teaching Mastering Parameter Sniffing at the PASS Summit!


At the PASS Data Community Summit in Seattle on November 12th, I’m teaching a one-day pre-conference workshop.

This year, the Summit is a hybrid event: you can either attend in-person in Seattle, or online via live streaming. If you attend online, PASS is recording the live stream, and you’ll be able to re-watch it during the week of the conference. This is super helpful for folks who have an emergency at work, have to drop off the call, and want to be able to catch up on what they’ve missed.

Here’s the abstract for the workshop I’m teaching on Mastering Parameter Sniffing:

You’re a database developer or DBA with at least 5 years experience performance tuning queries and indexes.

You already know you have parameter sniffing issues, and now you need to figure out how to fix it. In this one-day class, you’ll learn how to reduce the blast radius with index changes, query tuning, and database-level settings. You’ll also see firsthand how SQL Server 2017, 2019, and 2022 try to reduce it with adaptive joins, adaptive memory grants, automatic tuning, and caching multiple plans.

This course is 100% demos: the only slides are the introduction and recap. The rest of the time, I’ll be working live in SQL Server Management Studio and SQL Server 2022. You can even follow along in your laptop if you bring SQL Server 2017 or newer and the 50GB Stack Overflow 2013 database.

We’re going to be moving quickly and covering a lot of ground, and I know it can be tough to keep up. That’s why attendees will also get one year access to the full 3-day Mastering Parameter Sniffing recordings, too! That’s a $395 value, and it’s free with your workshop admission. (You’ll get the access in class.)

Registration is open now with early bird pricing. See you there!

Breaking News: SQL 2019 CU16 Changes Backup Formats, Can Break Log Shipping.

The newest Cumulative Update for SQL Server 2019 has this gem in the release notes:

It’s not a known issue, it’s an improvement

This is a massive problem if:

  • You have databases encrypted with TDE
  • You take backups WITH COMPRESSION (which has a history of bugs already), or you have the server’s default compression option turned on
  • You’re doing log shipping to other 2019 servers
  • You patch the primary to CU16 before you patch the secondaries

You might say, “Well, you should always patch the secondaries first” – but in some shops, here’s how they approach patching:

  • Patch the secondary (Server2)
  • Fail over to the patched secondary (Server2) but do not patch the former primary (Server1) just yet, because you’re worried about something going wrong in the patching
  • Wait a few hours or days before patching Server1

At that point, the unpatched Server1 is the secondary – but it can no longer restore backups because of this “feature” of CU16. (That’s exactly how I discovered this issue – a client’s log shipping was broken when they had problems with CU16 and tried to fail back to Server1 – but they couldn’t. CU16 is a one-way trip if you’re using log shipping.)

The “feature” is detailed in this KB article, which says:

In my client’s case, to get back to the CU15 servers quickly, we had to take uncompressed full & log backups from the CU16 primary over to the CU15 server, and were then able to go live on CU15 again. (I wasn’t involved in troubleshooting the issues they had with CU16 that drove them to fall back to CU15.)

Designing a Data Model for Gender and Sexuality (Oh And Also, I’m Pansexual)


These days, mostly focuses on the Microsoft data platform. However, you and I have a relationship, dear reader, so I just need to talk about some personal stuff today.

No, I'm not listening to YMCA.Lemme get two things out of the way first:

  • I’m pansexual, and
  • From a data modeling perspective, that’s different from bisexuality

I totally understand if you’re breathing into a paper bag right now, freaked out because that’s a lot to take in. You can close this blog post and come back to it later, or even just close it, hahaha – I understand that it’s a challenging topic.

But if you wanna learn more about me and data modeling, let’s dig in.

Let’s design a data model
for gender and sexuality.

Most of us are aware of two genders: male and female. In terms of data modeling, we might think of it as a bit column, IsFemale. 0 would be male, 1 would be female.

Sure sure, you could do IsMale, and have 0 be female, 1 be male. I’m fine with either definition – I swing both ways. (Brace yourself – the jokes only get worse.) So:

Then if gender is a bit column, then defining sexuality is pretty easy too. We can’t do it with just a bit flag, but here are the four possibilities:

  • Heterosexual: someone is attracted to the “opposite” gender – for example, if you’re a man, you’re attracted to women
  • Homosexual: attracted to the “same” gender – for example, if you’re a man, you’re attracted to other men
  • Bisexual: attracted to both men and women
  • Asexual: not attracted to either (listen, there are days when I want y’all to all die in a fire, especially the days when I read the comments)

We might design it as:

Most data modelers would stop there, and I would understand why. That’s all most of us have been exposed to. If you’re nodding along, that’s fine – you would define me as IsFemale = 0, SexualPreference = Bisexual.

I would totally understand if you said, “Ugh, Brent, this is way too much information,” and you closed the blog post here. I get it. This is an uncomfortable topic. But if you wanna learn about why bit columns don’t work for genders, then we need to keep going.

Gender isn’t really a bit flag.

In about 0.02% to 0.05% of births, the person is born with ambiguous genitals.

I know some readers are gonna rage-quit right there, and I understand. It’s a touchy topic. (No pun intended. (Okay, maybe the pun was intended.)) You’re welcome to do your own research on the intersex topic.

But if we agree that there are any births where it isn’t black-and-white which gender someone is at birth, that opens up a data modeling problem. A simple bit column isn’t going to be enough, because there’s more than just male and female. Gender is non-binary.

Furthermore, as people age, they may find that the bit value they were assigned at birth is wrong. The truth is, your biological sex isn’t carved in stone, but a living system with the potential for change. (I stole that sentence from this Scientific American piece, HT Andy Mallon, and I have so much respect for transgender folks who have to deal with this struggle.)

As a data modeler, it’s not my job to lay out every possible option for gender. I just need to be aware that a bit column isn’t going to cut it, and I’m going to need a lookup table along the lines of:

For the purposes of this blog post, I don’t give a damn what’s in the table. I don’t even care if you define it as:

Even if those were the only 3 options, that’s clear enough that a bit flag isn’t going to cut it.

So if a bit flag isn’t going to cut it, then we’re gonna need more than 4 options for sexual preferences.

Our 4 starting sexual preferences
are still a thing, but there are more.

All of these are still valid:

  1. Heterosexual can still mean men who are attracted to women, and women who are attracted to men. That’s fine.
  2. Homosexual can still mean men who are attracted to men, and women who are attracted to women.
  3. Asexual can still mean people who aren’t sexually attracted to anyone else.
  4. Bisexual can still mean men attracted to men & women, and women attracted to women & men.

But we’re gonna need more definitions, too, because people who are bisexual aren’t necessarily attracted to people whose gender is in the grey area. We need something like bisexual, but that also means any gender is okay, not just male or female.

That’s pansexual: people who can be sexually attracted to anyone else regardless of their gender – not just men or women, but people who are in the grey area. (I know, before you read this post, you thought bisexual people were open to a lot! Turns out there’s a world in which bisexual people are considered picky, hahaha.)

There are more sexual preferences than that, too. My goal in this post isn’t to define every possible sexual preference – it’s just to remind you that gender is not a bit flag, and the table for sexual preferences has more rows than you might consider at first glance.

I’m pansexual:
gender isn’t a factor for me.

That sounds like I have really low standards, hahaha, like I’m attracted to everything that moves. That couldn’t be further from the truth: I am very, very picky, but I just don’t consider gender as part of the criteria that I look for. I’ve met sexy women, men, transgender folks, and nonbinary folks.

Right now, I’m in a relationship with someone non-binary who was born a man, but is comfortable presenting as either a woman or a man, depending on what they feel like doing that day. Most of the time, they present as a woman.

You might be asking yourself, “Wait, Brent – is that your wife?” No, my wife and I got divorced when we returned from Iceland in 2021.

I’m blogging about my sexuality
for 3 reasons.

First, I wanna be here for folks who are surprised by this. Right now in politics, there’s a lot of divisiveness, a lot of us-versus-them. I know some of my readers are going to be shocked that I’m one of “them”, the sexual deviants who have some kind of agenda. It’s okay – I understand if you’re shocked, and I’m here if you want to talk about it. You can ask me anything you want publicly or privately, and not feel dumb or guilty.

Second, I wanna be here for folks who feel seen. Right now, non-binary, transgender, and pansexual people are reading this blog post going, “OMG, I’m not alone in this industry.” If there’s anything I can help you with, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Third, because I can. I’m blessed enough to be at the point in my career where I can talk publicly about this stuff without fear of retribution. Oh, retribution is going to happen, for sure – there are readers right now going, “Screw this guy, I’m unsubscribing from this craziness.” That’s fine. I will survive.

But don’t worry,
this blog is still about data.

I don’t want you to think that I’m constantly going to be pushing this in your face, dear reader. The blog is still going to be about databases, and my social media feeds are still going to be about cars and travel and food.

No, I’m not going to hit on you at a conference or a user group. I’ve never done that before, and I’m not about to start now. If you’re worried that I’m looking at you with some kind of ulterior motive, relax. You’re not my type. I’m specifically talking to you, not the other readers here.

The eagle-eyed will notice that I try to use gender-neutral names and terminologies as often as I can. I try to sneak in little fun stories and lessons where it makes sense, and I’m sure I’ll start working in more subtle stuff in demos.

But this blog isn’t going to become some kind of pansexual activism point. The biggest reason is simple: the pansexual pride flag is ugly.

C’mon, seriously, it’s as if someone said, “These pansexuals say they’re okay with anything? Well, let’s see how they feel about THIS, ha ha ho ho!” Ugh.

I know this is complex.
Feel free to ask me questions.

If you want to know more about me, gender in general, or sexuality in general, you’re welcome to post comments here or email me directly at You can also check social media today because May 24th is #PansexualVisibilityDay.

I know this topic is very different than the ones we usually discuss here. I will make sure the comments section is a place for honest discussion and learning, free from trolls or abuse.

Update: wanna know what
kinds of messages I got for this?

After publishing this blog post, here’s an example message I got on LinkedIn:

Part of me is honored that y’all think I’m professional.

The other part of me is completely unprofessional, and is surprised that it took you so long to find out.

As a reminder: is my blog, not yours. I’m here for a good time. If you’re not here for that, it’s best if you unsubscribe.

Never been to a SQL Server training class? Let’s fix that.

Company News

You love learning from me. You’ve attended some of my free online streams, read my blog posts, and you use the First Responder Kit. You enjoy my laid-back, humorous approach to sharing what I’ve learned over the years.

You love live classes. You’ve tried watching recordings or stepping through demos yourself, but…you just can’t block out the time, and you can’t stay motivated while you’re watching a recording. You like the fast-paced energy of seeing me live, asking me questions, and seeing me respond to your chats.

You hate conferences that feel like Zoom meetings. You’ve tried attending a few online conferences, but they felt just like sitting through one meeting after another. They didn’t dive deeply into any one subject – they just hopped around from one topic to another, and many of those topics just weren’t relevant to you. They were good for free stuff, but…

You’re ready for Fundamentals Week. Next month, you’ll spend a week with me learning about indexes, query tuning, columnstore, how I use the First Responder Kit, and more. I’m teaching it two weeks in a row:

June 27-July 1: Fundamentals Week, US-friendly times:

July 4-8: Fundamentals Week, Europe-friendly times:

Bonus: live Fundamentals of TempDB on June 9 & 10 – if you buy your Fundamentals Week ticket quickly, I’ll let you sneak into this class too!

Registration is open now. If you can’t make the live classes, like if you have an emergency at work, there’s a new option during check-out – you can add on lifetime access to the recordings, too. See you in class!