Professional Development

A funny thing happened on my way to becoming a judge in the 2011 Exceptional DBA Awards. But to get there, I gotta tell you a story about my dark past. I used to be a developer. No, wait, it gets worse: I coded web pages in Classic ASP, aka VBscript. My idea of reusable…

What Makes a Good Conference Session or Keynote?

Last Updated December 1, 2012

One of our FreeCon Chicago brainstorming exercises was to talk about what makes a good training session, conference session, or keynote speech. I started it by asking a few questions. Sign of a bad session: all the cool kids would rather stay out in the hallway. Does a successful session require a packed room? I…

Dealing with Presentation Criticism

Last Updated December 1, 2012

I just had a champagne moment.

Scott Adams (the creator of Dilbert) blogged about having these champagne moments in his life, times when he was almost-but-not-quite-ready to pop the champagne open because he still wanted to take things higher. My standards aren’t quite so high – I recognize certain achievements as being champagne-worthy, and this is one of ’em.

Consulting Lines: “Do you want 10% faster, 100% faster, or 1000% faster?”

Last Updated February 12, 2017

My favorite engagement is when I’m brought in to help a good person who’s overwhelmed. The manager knows his DBA is smart, but the DBA is just flat out overworked. Too many developers are slinging too much code on too many servers, and there’s too many signs of smoke. The manager asks the DBA who…

How to Get Paid to Take a Cruise

Last Updated February 9, 2017

As a database expert, I regularly travel to speak at conferences. When I travel, I try to time my trips to take advantage of other opportunities to see sights, visit friends, or relax. When my speaking schedule put me in South Florida last summer, I thought I’d take a cruise out of Miami afterwards. SQLCruise…

Consulting Lines: “What happens if that doesn’t work?”

Last Updated February 12, 2017

Companies don’t bring me in when things are going great and everything’s working flawlessly, oh no. As a consultant, I’ve seen lot of ways that things can fail. If a tree falls in a forest and there’s no one around to see it, the owner’s probably going to call a consultant afterward to find out…

Consulting Lines: “Yes, that used to be a best practice, and…”

Last Updated February 12, 2017

One of the cool things about working with an established product like SQL Server is that there’s a ton of knowledge out there. The intertubes are chock full of advice about how to manage all kinds of problems. Unfortunately, some of them are flat out wrong. They may not have started out wrong – they…

How to Ask Your Boss for Training Money

Last Updated September 22, 2019

“I’m scared. Hold me.” I hear that all the time from people who want to go to a conference or a training class. They’re terrified to walk into The Boss’s office because The Boss only says one word: “No.” Here’s some easy ways to start the conversation, handle objections, and seal the deal. The Opening…

Consulting Lines: “Would you mind driving?”

Last Updated February 12, 2017

We nicknamed one of our favorite project managers “The Bus Driver.” She didn’t throw people under the bus herself, but she ran over many a reputation. If you didn’t know what you were doing, you didn’t want to be anywhere near her bus route, because she wasn’t hitting the brakes on her project for any…

Consulting Lines: “Sounds like you’ve got it all under control.”

Last Updated February 12, 2017

For us geeks, the hardest part about consulting isn’t the technology. Technology’s easy. I know when I poke SQL Server a certain way, it’s going to respond a certain way. That part of consulting is predictable and reliable. The Techie The hardest part is the people. I’ve been consulting part time for years, and the…

Book Review: Applied Architecture Patterns on the Microsoft Platform

Last Updated February 13, 2017

Book Reviews

I usually hate architecture books. I can’t stand ’em. Seems like every one I’ve ever read has been targeted at architecture astronauts – people who spend all their time talking theory, not practice. Applied Architecture Patterns on the Microsoft Platform This book is different. Reading this book is like having drinks in the pub with…

Pimp My MCM Certificate Contest Winner

Last Updated February 12, 2017

Humor, Microsoft Certified Master (MCM)

Wow – you guys are creative! I got a lot of laughs out of the contest entries, and here’s some of the highlights. Doug Lane certified Admiral Ackbar as a Master of Trap Recognition and Countermeasures: Michael Swart captured the essence of what it feels like when Microsoft says you actually passed: Robert Davis got…

How to Rehearse a Presentation

Last Updated December 1, 2012

Buck Woody (Blog – @BuckWoody) and I did a presentation at the PASS Summit called, “You’re Not Attractive, But Your Presentations Can Be.” The audience asked a lot of good questions, and I wanted to recap some of ’em as blog posts. The first one – and one of the most frequent questions I get…

SQLskills MCM Videos: Behind the Scenes

Last Updated February 12, 2017

Microsoft Certified Master (MCM)

A few weeks ago, Microsoft unveiled changes to the Microsoft Certified Master (MCM) of SQL Server program and showed off new free video training materials by SQLskills. I was curious to hear what the community would think about the new certification and our training materials. Jason Strate (Blog – @StrateSQL) was the first to blog…

Resolving to Present More in 2011?

Last Updated February 12, 2017

If your New Year’s Resolution in 2011 is to get more active in the SQL Server community, you have to get started now. SQLSaturdays are an easy way to dip your toe in the water because they’re free multi-track events held pretty frequently all over the US. You can submit sessions online right now for…

Office 2011 PowerPoint Presenter View

Last Updated February 14, 2017

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I just fell in love. If you hook up a projector to your laptop, you can configure the projector to be a second screen rather than a copy of what’s on your laptop display. When you do, your presentation shows up on the projector, but your laptop display shows something else – Presenter View. This…

Telling Clients They’re Unusual

Last Updated February 12, 2017

Consultants need to get around. One of the key differences between consultants and contractors is that contractors tend to stay at the same company for weeks or months, while consultants jump around very quickly from project to project. Most of my engagements are just 3-4 days long: I parachute in, put out the burning fires,…

Edward Tufte Wants to Change Everything

Last Updated August 17, 2020

Several hours into Edward Tufte‘s day-long seminar on visual communications in Chicago, he revealed what he really hates about our communications tools. He briefly touched on the origin of the desktop with the Xerox Alto, a document-oriented computer. He said that users didn’t see applications – they saw lists of documents, and they chose which…

Good Advice from Richard Simmons

Last Updated February 12, 2017