Year: 2010

Reporting SQLPASSPR for spam

Help me stop a jerk from abusing #SQLHelp

14 Comments
Aaron Nelson (Blog – @SQLVariant) had an excellent idea about a year ago.  Anytime someone needed help with a SQL Server question, they could include the phrase #SQLHelp in the tweet.  Community members set up a search for that term in their Twitter tool, and whenever the questions came in, we would answer.  Here’s instructions…
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PASS Board of Directors Election 2010 #passvotes

#SQLPass
19 Comments
The Professional Association for SQL Server holds annual elections for the Board of Directors.  The Board decides things like: Where to hold the annual PASS Summit – for the last couple of years, it’s been in Seattle, and the Board decided to keep it in Seattle for another few years.  I blogged about my frustrations…
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Look Ma, No Cars

Guess Who Got My Old Job at Quest?

13 Comments
Today, I’m thrilled to see that my very good friend Jeremiah Peschka is the newest community guy at Quest Software.  (They’re going to say he has a “new” job, not “my” job, but that’s because the Quest folks are very smart and they tailor the job to fit the person, not the other way around.) …
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Twifficiency Warning

Stop Using Twifficiency, You Bozos

24 Comments
Every few minutes, I see somebody tweet something about their Twifficiency score.  Now, I don’t have a problem with shallow people who want to compare their metrics with others – okay, maybe I do – but let’s take a step back for a second and look at what’s happening when you use that tool. When…
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The Other Good Book

GTD: Why Things Have Been Quiet Around Here

20 Comments
A few months ago, I had The Idea.  I wanted to conduct SQL Server training on a cruise ship.  I emailed a few buddies and offered to start a company called SQLCruise with them, and out of three friends, only one could say yes.  I don’t have anything against the two who said no.  I…
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SQLBits Registration Open – great UK conference

6 Comments
I’ve blogged about the What, Where, and Why of SQLBits, and hopefully I’ve got you all psyched up about attending this really reasonably-priced conference.  Now’s your chance to get in: SQLBits registration is now open. You can register for: Full 3-day Conference (£350 now with the early bird discount) – Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.  You…
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Typical Executive

Edward Tufte Wants to Change Everything

Several hours into Edward Tufte‘s day-long seminar on visual communications in Chicago, he revealed what he really hates about our communications tools. He briefly touched on the origin of the desktop with the Xerox Alto, a document-oriented computer.  He said that users didn’t see applications – they saw lists of documents, and they chose which…
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Microsoft Certified Master at Work

Good Advice from Richard Simmons

Professional Development
14 Comments
Yesterday at the Quest virtual conference, I showed up for one of my sessions in a Richard Simmons costume – big wig, short jogging shorts, and a lime green tank top with fake chest hair coming out every which way but loose. @SQLSamson captured the moment live: Microsoft Certified Master at Work Viewers at home…
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SQLBits Voting

SQLBits – What, Where, and Why

8 Comments
SQLBits is a unique SQL Server event in the United Kingdom, and even if you’re not in the UK, there’s some things you might find interesting about how it works. Thursday – Pre-Conference Sessions – for £350, you get in-depth training on one particular subject from one trainer.  Attendees like pre-con sessions when they need…
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But it's not required

Knowledge in ____ is a plus

8 Comments
Got this email from a recruiter this morning and just had to share it: But it's not required That’s right, it actually says “Knowledge in ____ is a plus.” No, they didn’t bother finishing the above sentence that starts with, “However the expectation is that this” but I’ll fill it out for you.  “However, the…
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Want a better job?

17 Comments
About two years ago, I made the leap from working as a production DBA to working as a SQL Server expert for Quest Software.  When I tell someone what I do for a living, they usually have the same reaction: “Wow, you’ve got a really cool job.”  It has its ups and downs, but it…
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Another Free Day-Long Training Event

6 Comments
Remember the last day-long virtual training event I did with Kevin Kline (Blog – @KEKline)?  The one where I dressed up like Dr. Horrible and played doctor with your DMVs? We’re doing another one!  This time it’s Wednesday, July 21st, and we’re adding another great presenter – Buck Woody (Blog – @BuckWoody)!  He’s Microsoft’s real…
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Jar Jar at Work

The Top 10 Developer Mistakes That Won’t Scale

SQL Server
29 Comments
Microsoft records TechEd sessions, and you can watch the recording of mine.  Here’s the abstract: You’ve heard it before: “It worked fine on my machine, but the users say it’s too slow.” Don’t blame the developers: they’re using SQL Server features that look great on paper, but in reality, they won’t scale up to production…
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Me in San Francisco

How I Travel

14 Comments
Buck Woody (Blog – @BuckWoody) tagged me in a blog post called How I Travel where he talks about how he packs, how he works on the road, and his journey logistics.  Paul Randal responded with the Paul and Kimberly Travel Guide, and those two are definitely hard-core travelers.  I think I’m probably the most…
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Query Execution Plan

Sargability: Why %string% Is Slow

T-SQL
46 Comments
People love to search. Google has us addicted to fast, easy search functions.  Users expect every application to have a built-in blazing-fast search functionality.  To pull that off, developers build search queries that let users enter a string, and we ask SQL Server to find matches.  For example, say our users need to find some…
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SQL Server Edition Comparison

SQL Server 2008 R2 Standard Supports Less Memory

Licensing
51 Comments
Pop quiz: how much memory does SQL Server 2008 R2 Standard Edition support? If you’re like me, you’d head to Microsoft’s site and check the SQL Server edition comparison: SQL Server Edition Comparison Looks pretty straightforward, right? Wrong.  As it turns out, the marketing material is incorrect – both Books Online and TechNet show that…
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Get SQL Server and Oracle Help on Twitter

Oracle
3 Comments
When you’ve got database questions, you can get fast, free, friendly help.  Here’s how to do it: Join Twitter. It’s completely free, and you don’t have to post boring stuff.  Just use it for questions. Post your question in a tweet with the word #SQLHelp or #OracleHelp.  People in the community have searches set up…
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Beautiful German

Coming to Germany & Austria in June

8 Comments
I’m returning to the land of great cars, superb beer, and friendly database administrators.  In June, I’m visiting four cities in four days to do eight presentations.  Ready, set, go! Monday 21.6 – Munich, Germany Expert Campus on SQL Server I’m presenting, “SQL Server Storage: Files, Filegroups, Partitioning, & More.” It’s hard to find good…
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