You don’t follow me on Twitter because you’re not on Twitter, and I can’t say that I blame you. It’s a bunch of people yelling at each other. Come to think of it, I’m not even sure why *I’m* on there.
But anyway, here are a few things I’ve said on there lately that you’ll probably get a chuckle out of. Enjoy!
Postgres – SQL Server – Oracle – MySQL pic.twitter.com/rRKD1ikhVI
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) July 15, 2021
49% = "I didn't read the documentation. Can you fix this for me?"
49% = "I read the documentation, but I did something else. I can't figure out why it's not working. Can you fix it?"
1% = there was no documentation
1% = the documentation was wrong
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) June 16, 2021
y u mad pic.twitter.com/BWmp1TlKaA
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) July 2, 2021
Good morning to everyone except the people who store files in a relational database
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) June 24, 2021
mysql is the hair/body shampoo of databases
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) May 27, 2021
(Lest someone think I don’t like MySQL, I do! This site is powered by MySQL.)
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) May 26, 2021
I like a lot of things about being a consultant, but my favorite is how quickly "mandatory" meetings turn into quick email chains once the organizer is informed that I bill for meetings.
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) May 28, 2021
"I'm thinking about buying one of your training courses, but before I do, I want you to prove that you can fix my server. Let's do a remote desktop session today." pic.twitter.com/nbp6rnIeiX
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) July 14, 2021
If you can afford to back it up, it isn't big data.
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) May 10, 2021
I think I'm finally getting the hang of this "data warehouse 2.0" thing pic.twitter.com/rPUzCLu6du
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) May 18, 2021
I can’t promise gems like those very often, but if you wanna follow me, I’m @BrentO.