You don’t follow me on Twitter because you’re not on Twitter, and I can’t say that I blame you. It’s a bunch of people yelling at each other. Come to think of it, I’m not even sure why *I’m* on there.
But anyway, here are a few things I’ve said on there lately that you’ll probably get a chuckle out of. Enjoy!
Postgres – SQL Server – Oracle – MySQL pic.twitter.com/rRKD1ikhVI
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) July 15, 2021
IT work:
49% = "I didn't read the documentation. Can you fix this for me?"49% = "I read the documentation, but I did something else. I can't figure out why it's not working. Can you fix it?"
1% = there was no documentation
1% = the documentation was wrong
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) June 16, 2021
y u mad pic.twitter.com/BWmp1TlKaA
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) July 2, 2021
Good morning to everyone except the people who store files in a relational database
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) June 24, 2021
mysql is the hair/body shampoo of databases
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) May 27, 2021
(Lest someone think I don’t like MySQL, I do! This site is powered by MySQL.)
Well, hey, I'm in the @nytimes in a story on taxation of digital nomads: https://t.co/CJ4E46BG0v
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) May 26, 2021
I like a lot of things about being a consultant, but my favorite is how quickly "mandatory" meetings turn into quick email chains once the organizer is informed that I bill for meetings.
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) May 28, 2021
"I'm thinking about buying one of your training courses, but before I do, I want you to prove that you can fix my server. Let's do a remote desktop session today." pic.twitter.com/nbp6rnIeiX
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) July 14, 2021
If you can afford to back it up, it isn't big data.
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) May 10, 2021
I think I'm finally getting the hang of this "data warehouse 2.0" thing pic.twitter.com/rPUzCLu6du
— Brent Ozar (@BrentO) May 18, 2021
I can’t promise gems like those very often, but if you wanna follow me, I’m @BrentO.
11 Comments. Leave new
I think i see a bit of MongoDB between the legs of Postgers in the first post!
“I’m thinking about buying one of your training courses, but before I do, I want you to prove that you can fix my server. Let’s do a remote desktop session today.”
I’ll bet this happens far too often.
Indeed it does.
That NYT article photo is extremely cool.
Tech-savvy Bond villain cool.
“No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to read the ‘How to Think Like The Engine’.”
Hahaha, thanks!
“If you can afford to back it up, it isn’t big data.” HA. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard “We have a huge database – over 100 Million Rows!”, and I’m thinking – “No, a big database is one where you are inserting a 100 Million rows a day…”.
You may not dislike MySQL, but I consider it a toy, only good for light use, like blogs and wikis.
Here’s why — and this is an example of attitude, not just the specific technical issue:
Once upon a time, the MySQL devs decided that making you list all the non-grouped columns in a group by clause was unnecessary…so if you didn’t mention one, and it had multiple values in the results, they’d just pick one to display. There’s a flag to enable “strict” (sane) group-by syntax, and it was eventually turned on by default. And thus, they consider this “fixed”. But here’s the thing: if you specify any other start up flag, that overrides the defaults. So, if someone who doesn’t know this history wants to set some other flag, and doesn’t explicitly set all the flags that are set by default…bye-bye strict group-by! (and all the other defaults)
And that’s seen as no big deal, or was the last time I checked.
Now, I haven’t done much with MySQL for a few years, since we migrated to SQL Server, so it’s possible someone with sense has fixed this in the past few years, but I doubt it…and the fact that it’s been like this for decades doesn’t speak well of the community, either.
Dang! That tweet about storing files in tables really hit home. It seemed like such a good idea a year ago, now I’ve learned that its impossible to scale the db as it grows. So, this week I built a utility to export them all out of sql server and write them to disk. The lesson I learned is that just because sql server can do something doesn’t mean you should do it. If anyone needs a script to export files from sql to disk let me know.
Robert – yeah, it seems so simple and straightforward at first, but then at scale…
Brent: Do you expect to attend my mastering class?
Goldfinger: No Mr Ozar I expect you to fix it
🙂 hope you enjoy it
HA!