First Responder Kit Release: We hired Brent back because he promised to fix his code

Humor, SQL Server

March comes in like a 40 of Steel Reserve and leaves like your memory of the night after drinking a 40 of Steel Reserve.

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sp_Blitz Improvements

#758 and #756 We made it less scary to run on Express Edition. Why? Because running Express Edition is scary enough. Coded by @Totty1973 and @BrentOzar

#754 You know what Brent hates? Poison. Not the song, or the band, just the wait types. He added some more, and proud we are of all of them.

#730 You know what @TaraKizer hates? When people call it “Recovery Mode”, unless it’s Recovery Pie a la Mode. @BrentOzar fixed this egregious error.

#712 Hey, math. You do math? You ever try dividing by zero? I got some right here if you want a free sample. You know what free is? $0. Divide something by that. It doesn’t work. Thanks, @BrentOzar

#673 Names are important. Databases are important. Database names are the most important thing ever. We now show them to you appropriately in these two checks. Thanks, @BrentOzar

#670 You know what else Brent hates? Evidence. You should see the amount of stuff I’ve had to burn, shred, and bury since I started working here. I mean, you shouldn’t see it. So now we recompile the stored proc and all the dynamic SQL in it so it doesn’t leave a bunch of garbage behind in your plan cache.

sp_BlitzCache Improvements

#700 Remember back when we added those new sort orders, all and all avg? If you wanted to export those to excel, all ex-hell broke loose. Thanks, @BrentOzar

#715 Are you on 2016? Are you me? We now support using the sys.dm_exec_function_stats view. You’ll use it a ton, I’m sure.

#699 Casing is important. We messed it up, and @afscrome fixed it. Thanks!

sp_BlitzFirst Improvements

#751 We now offer vague and temporary support for Azure SQL DB. Why? Because MS has made breaking changes without much warning before, so this could break by the time you try to run it. @BrentOzar again!

#750 @BrentOzar sure likes coding again now that I have to do all this stuff. He also likes explaining how to handle high compilations.

#748 Poison! Wait! Check! Please! Thanks @BrentOzar!

#741 HEAPs are just the worst, right? Because Forwarded Records, right? They’re a zoo. Now we warn you if you have a lot of those in a sample period. You’re welcome. Now fix your HEAPs.

#740 There’s nothing worse than a false positive. Just ask anyone who’s had a paternity test. We fixed one for DBCC CHECKDB. Well, @BrentOzar but whatever.

#737 Did you know that people live in other parts of the world? There are these like, time zone things. We do a better job with them. Man, @BrentOzar was busy.

#698 One time I tied myself to train tracks. Wait, no, that was a roller coaster. There was screaming a lot of screaming and crying and sweat-soaked cotton candy. Then @BrentOzar untied me. Then he tied file speeds to wait types so you know if your storage is to blame for writelog or pageiolatch waits.

#697 We used to warn about all backups. Now we only warn if they’ve been going on for more than 5 minutes. Once again, @BrentOzar

#693 Bluuuuuue Spanish Eyyyyyeeees, prettiest fixed startup time in all of Mexicoooooo. @BrentOzar

sp_BlitzIndex Improvements

#726 @ShawnCrocker noted some incorrect square bracket technology and @BrentOzar fixed it.

#732 Joining on database IDs is the right thing to do. Then you don’t have to worry about incorrect results. @BrentOzar did this one, too. Blame him if there’s a bug. I’m just a blogger, now.

#723 The funny thing about missing index requests is that they’re not all created equally. Some of them don’t have a very high impact, and some of them don’t have a very high usage rate. We make some distinctions now. We’ll make more later.

sp_BlitzWho Improvements

#720 There was some minor rioting when we (I) changed code to look in master for sp_BlitzWho. Now we look in master or in the current database context, so if you have our stored procs in another database, you can run them from that database and probably find things.

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4 Comments. Leave new

  • I look forward to your change notes more any any other change notes. Even more than the change/release notes to psuedo-vaporware AAA titles that have raised over $140m in alpha funding… (I’m looking at you Star Citizen!)

  • Such change! Much wow! All thanks!

  • “…Poison. Not the song, or the band…”
    A point of clarification for those of you who just went “Huh?”
    It’s a reference to a regrettable and ancient genre in popular music known as Glam Metal. It happened 30 years ago when hairspray was much more freely available. As in 10 years before the SQL Server 7.0 RTM.


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