Yesterday we announced that we’re open sourcing our free SQL Server scripts, and one of those is sp_BlitzFirst. I originally named it that because it had a funny magic-8-ball type feature: if you pass in a question as a parameter, it gives you an answer like “Outlook not so good, Access even worse.”
Cute, but now that it’s open source, it’s time to give it a name that matches the important stuff it does.
Here’s what sp_BlitzFirst does:
sp_BlitzFirst with no parameters gives you a prioritized list of reasons why your SQL Server is slow right now, like a backup running, rollback happening, a data or log file growing, a long-running query blocking others, extremely high CPU use, etc.
sp_BlitzFirst @SinceStartup = 1 shows your wait types, file stats, and Perfmon counter activity since startup.
sp_BlitzFirst @OutputDatabaseName = ‘DBAtools’, @OutputSchemaName = ‘dbo’, @OutputTableName = ‘AskBrentResults’ – plus a few other parameters – captures your wait types, file stats, and Perfmon counters into a table so you can do your own performance trending over time.
So what should we name it?
Most of our other tools start with sp_Blitz, so maybe sp_BlitzPerformanceCheck or sp_BlitzMetrics. I have no idea. But I bet you do, so put in your comments here before end of day on Friday, June 24th, 2016. We’ll pick a winner based on completely random subjective taste, and the first person who suggested that name will get a free Everything Bundle. Good luck!
Tara says: I like sp_BlitzNow. Vote for my pick, and I’ll send you some Brent Ozar Unlimited magnets. I’m kidding. Those things are heavy. Shipping will mean I can’t pay the mortgage. If my pick wins, I’ll give away the Everything Bundle to a random person that commented.
Update 2016/06/27 – the winner has been chosen! Turning off comments. Keep your eyes peeled for the announcement.
338 Comments.
It’s an early step in diagnosing trouble
so: sp_triage
It fits with your health care branding
… or sp_BlitzTriage to be consistent
Ooo, that’s true!
Michael Swart’s “sp_BlitzTriage” is excellent I think. Says it all.
We use the “triage” term for other performance/heath items and it is intuitive to anyone what is being done.
…and it prioritizes “injuries” — hence triage.
+1
+1
+1
+1 – It needs the least amount of effort to recall what it does! That’s what I like to see when I may not be thinking straight!
+1
+1
Dang, that was going to be my suggestion. Good one, Michael!
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
sp_TellMe
sp_FixThisSh*t
+1
I would suggest sp_BlitzMaven or sp_BlitzGuru or sp_BlitzMaestro
Maven (from the Yiddish word, meyvn, “one who understands,” ultimately from the Hebrew term mebhin): Generally used in the sense of someone with expertise in a sophisticated area of study or skill.
Guru (from the Hindi word for “teacher” or “priest,” from the Sanskrit term guru-s): Originally denoted a spiritual mentor, but the meaning was later extended to a secular sense and then generally to an expert.
Maestro (from the Italian word for “master,” ultimately from the Latin term magister): A term for a gifted composer, later extended to orchestra conductors and now sometimes used facetiously to refer to those with pretensions of genius. The English form master denotes both an academic leader (hence “master of arts” and so on) and one who is eminent in any given field of endeavor.
Since this tool can teach and guide, I think any of those terms fit.
sp_BlitzEverything
sp_BrentO_lifesaver
Hahaha, thanks, but no go on the name. I wanna make sure it welcomes contributions from others.
Given the first aid-style branding you apply to your other services, I would suggest sp_BlitzCheckup. Or maybe if you’re feeling more invasive, sp_BlitzProbe.
sp_AskTheDBA
Only returns one row: “No”
Err, that sounds buggy and mean. Best fix it to “It depends.”
sp_BlitzKrieg. You’re after SQL server resolution quickly. This proc gives you just that.
Andrew – funny thing, I got some feedback once a few years ago that the term blitzkrieg has negative connotations around war. I hadn’t thought about that since I actually thought of blitz in terms of the football play!
Andrew is correct. When going to war with a SQL Server, it’s always best to invade that server and get it over with quickly.
As for the sensibilities of anyone who’s offended by history and mere words, let them take it up with historians and Holocaust survivors.
Of course it’s tied into war as it’s to do with strategy based around speed and surprise and the use of light tank units.
Your script diagnoses quickly and may surprise with certain settings being at fault that you wouldn’t necessarily know about.
Granted your script has no references to tanks afaik. Maybe some ASCII art at the top of the script should you choose the name…
sp_BlitzCreak – for when your server about to fall apart
I like sp_BlitzNow (and not just because I’m easily bribed…besides I usually only respond to food-based bribes).
sp_BlitzCache analyzes your cache. sp_BlitzIndex analyzes your indexes. sp_Blitz looks at everything. So, sp_AskBrent should be named after whatever it’s analyzing.
sp_AskBrent with no parameters is really analyzing your slowness (your words): sp_BlitzSlowness or sp_BlitzPerformance
sp_AskBrent @SinceStartup=1 arguably doesn’t quite look at slowness. Actually, one could argue it doesn’t analyze anything. It’s more like @DoItYourselfMode
Andy – oooo, slowness is actually interesting too!
If you go with sp_BlitzSlowness, I’ll accept payment in tacos.
Or sp_BlitzBottleneck ?
It looks at wait stats to determine where you’re waiting, and what your bottlnecks are.
Doesn’t really roll off the tongue very well, but it describes what it does.
Was looking to suggest something similar to Andy’s. It’s clear on what it’s does by it’s name, and fits right along with the rest of the suite.
That or to go along with the football theme, sp_BlitzHailMary
sp_BlitzHailMary would be a proc to reboot; because no one could find a better answer.
I like sp_BlitzNow or sp_BlitzPerf. Both are short, catchy, easy to remember, and accurately describe the function of the tool.
Try saying sp_BlitzSlow or sp_BlitzSlowness three-times-fast, it hurts.
sp_BlitzPerformance Couldn’t agree more. Let me know exactly what my current performance is like.
sp_AskHAL9000
Sp_Alpha
I like sp_BlitzMetrics or sp_BlitzPerfCheck. I can live with sp_BlitzNow, but the name does not say what it does.
Sasa – good points! I like those.
sp_BlitzSqlHealth or sp_BlitzHealth, because it’s kind of a quick health-check of the server
Michel – yeah, but so is sp_Blitz though, right?
True…
sp_BlitzFix then? 🙂
Hmm – does it fix things any differently than sp_Blitz does?
It does fix things differently. One is more of a general healthcheck, when you get a new box from someone. The other is “I have this immediate slowness pain… how can I fix it?”.
sp_BlitzTurtle – why is my server slow as a turtle?
I’m with Michael Swart. Blitz-something.
sp_snail
Before I even read Tara’s comment I was thinking sp_BlitzNow.
sp_BlitzBox – Server-wide blitzing.
Jamie – doesn’t sp_Blitz do that though?
I knew it reminded me of something! Back to the drawing board.
I vote for sp_ServerCheck.
SP_BlitzOpenSourceScript => sp_Boss because it needs to be easy to write !
sp_VitalSigns:
noun
clinical measurements, specifically pulse rate, temperature, respiration rate, and blood pressure, that indicate the state of a patient’s essential body functions.
Seems to describe it pretty well?
+1 for sp_BlitzNow. It fits perfectly with the naming convention of the other scripts and clearly says what it is meant for.
sp_AskOracle
(hee hee hee)
You have my vote.
That only works if you get a big bill every time you run it.
sp_WhatsUp
+1
I would say sp_CheckMyServer.
taking into account that it gathers metrics about different performances issues that your server is going through.
Seriously, though… you’re looking at measures of speed, so sp_BlitzGauge or sp_BlitzMeter…
or sp_Blitzometer… ok, I’ll stop now…
sp_blitz_askSql
sp_BlitzDiagnose considering it helps diagnose what’s happening at the very moment.
sp_BlitzServer
sp_BlitzInstance
sp_BlitzShowDevWhyTheyAreKillingTheServer
Never call a proc sp_xxx. So I say use a dedicated schema
Blitz.Index
Blitz.Cache
Blitz.Server
sp_BlitzBazinga or similar to one already suggested sp_BlitzPrfChk
Bazinga! Love it. I’m a big Sheldon fan.
Well, as others have said, sticking with the “health” convention:
SP_BlitzWhereDoesItHurt
or
SP_BlitzSQLHealthRecords (especially appropriate when logging to a table)
How about sp_whatshappening or sp_whatsup
I immediately though of Sixteen Candles: sp_WhatsHappeningHotStuff.
SP_Recon : Recon for the term “reconnaissance”. Recon inline with the idea of getting the early observations on the Database or the first thing to start with.
Oooh, spBlitzRecon. I like that.
sp_BlitzWTF
sp_Blitz
sp_PlayAction – lets go on the offensive side of the ball
sp_PlayActionPass
sp_BlitzBGap – in spirit of Brent
sp_BlitzAskMeIKnow
An attempt at keeping it PG rated.
sp_BlitzInsight or sp_BlitzExamine are my nominees.
How about sp_BlitzAsk to keep the Ask part of it from the original name.
sp_BlitzChart (as in patient chart). +1 for sp_BlitzDiagnose
In response to Tara’s magnanimous offer to donate the Everything Bundle to someone else, if she were to win, I’d like to say that if I win, I’m keeping it. Mine. Forever. ALL MINE. Mwaaahahahaha!
Hahahaha! I’m only donating it because I already have access to it. Otherwise it would be MINE. Hehe
sp_Blitz101 – After all, it is where you should start…
Some words regarding what it does:
Diagnose, Investigate, Examine, Scrutinize, Poke, Inspect, Interrogate.
But what about just
sp_Ask
or
sp_AskMe
sp_AskMagic
or since AI is popular, give the script a name
sp_AskOptimus
sp_Optimus
sp_AskRobot
sp_AskRobbie
sp_AskFred
After that brainstorming, I like
sp_Optimus
Since it’s all about optimizing.
I vote for sp_AskFred!
sp_panoptic
pan·op·tic
adjective
showing or seeing the whole at one view.
“a panoptic aerial view”
sp_BlitzPanic
sp_BlitzDontPanic
+1 for the “don’t panic” as long as it’s in nice friendly letters
Or sp_towel ?
sp_BlitZSanity
My vote is for sp_OzarHealthCheck. Keep your name in it some way.
What about sp_blitzCheck or sp_blitzLube or sp_blitzAnalysis?
sh_BlitzWhatsWrong
sp_TurboButton
sp_Blitzen (only around the holidays)
sp_PowerBlitz
sp_PowerBlitzEnterpriseEdition (has one really cool feature and costs $$$)
sp_BlitzInsight
sp_WhySqlNotActive
sp_BlitzUp
sp_WhyMyShitBroke
sp_MyShitAintWorkin
This language isn’t very becoming here (maybe in the cold dark server room at 1:00 am). +1 for sp_BlitzNow. I’d love to use this but, alas, I am plagued by the fearsome QUOTED_IDENTIFIER error every time I run it.
Darrell – uh oh, not sure what you mean. Feel free to add a bug over in the Github repository with the full info & screenshots though. Thanks!
sp_FacePalm
Sp_SprockyMcSprocFace ?
sp_BlitzyMcBlitzFace
sp_PerformanceBlitz
I think it makes sense as that is what this script is used most of the time.
sp_WTF
Less characters = better
Self-explanatory
You beat me to it !
sp_BlitzToDoList, or sp_BlitzToDo
I’m on the Tara bandwagon with a vote for sp_BlitzNow.
sp_answer42 in homage to the hitch-hikers guide….
Sp_MayDay
Sp_WhatIsGoinOn
Sp_WhereAmI
Sp_GiveMeStats
sp_bo_server_observations
🙂 Thanks again. What ever the name we decide hope the _BO_ remains in the name. The name means quality, expertise in SQL.
sp_WhySlow
sp_BlitzKrieg
sp_DatabasePsychicReading Because it does what most psychics do, read the signs/signals from the person they conning then give back insights the person could have found for themselves if they had taken the time for some self evaluation.
sp_BlitzRecon
sp_BlitzStrike; Why blitz strike you might ask… Well it would be the form of strike meaning as the refusal to work organized by a SQL server and the blitz part is the act of getting the server back into working order.
sp_BlitzTricorder
sp_BlitzServerStatus
sp_BlitzStatus
I would suggest SP_BlitzStatus as you’re effectively checking the status of the box at that moment and it’s short enough not to be hard to remember/type
In honour of another famous naming poll conducted recently, how about sp_BlitzyMcBlitzface (not sure if my non-UK friends will appreciate this one)
I appreciated it. Unfortunately you’re about 6 minutes late on this one 🙂 but its good enough to be suggested twice
I like sp_BlitzNow or..
sp_BlitzDiagnostic
Continuing with the naming practice that Microsoft/someone out there says not to use for your stored procedures (that begin with sp_ because msdb SPs get checked too):
sp_Ozarmatics
sp_HelpMeSpock
To put it inline for what I use sp_WhoisActive for why not sp_BlitzActive?
Second recommendation: sp_BlitzIt
I suggest sp_WTF – short and sweet and easy to remember.
When no parameters are provided, the Message should give details of the parameter options – perhaps just the most common/useful ones with ‘Help’ being a choice that can give the full list.
sp_BlitzScotty in the spirit of Star Trek. Because Scotty can fix anything!!!
How do you like sp_BlitzFerret? It snoops around the dark corners looking for interesting stuff.
Maybe sp_BlitzCurrent
sp_BlitzIT (as in IT, get it? Get it?)
sp_BlitzFix
sp_ServerBlitz
sp_DaBlitz (as in Da Bearz. See also Bill Swerkski. Hey, it is Chicago-based.)
sp_AutoBlitz
sp_BlitzAnalysis
I know this is breaking the mold, I think sp_AskBlitz. It starts like it was before and will autocomplete when I start typing the wrong proc.
sp_BlitzHelp cos we need a fast help 🙂
There are some really wonderful suggestions – the ones that resonate with me are sp_BlitzTriage sp_Blitz_Checkup sp_Blitz_Now and sp_Blitz_insight.
I would like to add sp_BlitzScan sp_BlitzWhatsup sp_Blitz_me sp_Blitz_Scope sp_Blitz_Suspects
This is fun! Thanks for all you do!
sp_WhatNow
sp_AskCommunity – because it will be open source for everyone to contribute
Since it relates to health checks perhaps sp_BlitzOSHA?
sp_AskBlitz – simple change, keeps it close to what it was.
In homage to Snow Crash, I suggest sp_BigBoard
BigBoard told Hiro Protagonist what was going on in the Black Sun in the Metaverse.
Call it sp_WTF
That’s the real question I am trying to answer every time I fire up sp_AskBrent!
sp_BlitzCheck
sp_WhySoSlow
sp_BlitzAlive
sp_StopCallingMeImWorkingOnIt
sp_Ranto
sp_AskBlitz
sp_FindtheGrue
How about sp_WWBD (What Would Brent Do)?
If not that, I like sp_BlitzNow. Tells you what’s going on right now.
I like sp_SwissArmyKnife or sp_SwissKnife or even sp_SwissArmy as it’s a handy utility. Y’all kin throw “Blitz” into it but then it gets a bit long.
Brent, really appreciate the fact that you’re giving all of us a chance to rename your brain child.
How about:
sp_BlitzStats (I know its boring)
sp_BlitzMe / sp_BlitzifyMe /sp_Blitzify
sp_BlitzMeUp / sp_WayToBlitz / sp_HowToBlitz
+1
sp_BlitzStats
sp_Blitz911
for emergency help
I like 911 in the sp name , not a bad idea David
Thanks…sometimes numbers are easier to remember than letters, at least for some people (including me). Could also be sp_Blitz411 for the info…
What the hell, I’m not sure if it’s inspiration or perspiration…call it sp_BlitzCYA.
sp_WTF ????
sp_BlitzRescue
I do like sp_BlitzNow as well.
Thank you!
Everyone else’s suggestions make too much sense. How about, uh, BlitzWait … to quote Richard: “Mwaaahahahaha!”
sp_reveal (or various forms of synonym such as sp_reveal, sp_discover, sp_divulge, sp_identify)
I’m with Tara too!
Hi guys, how about sp_BlitzInsight?
Personally I like, in no priority order:
sp_BlitzMetrics
sp_BlitzPerf
sp_BlitzHealth
sp_BlitzCheckIt
But my favorite: sp_BlitzFixIt
I really think it should retain the sp_Blitz prefix! Keep it with the rest of the toolset. I use these on EVERY server.
I forgot… sp_BlitzWTF… What To Fix that is!
How about sp_IToldYouItWasTheNetwork?
sp_ozquery
Virtues:
1) Legacy: Keeps your name in it, kinda.
2) Branding: Opens up all kinds of “wizard of…” opportunities.
3) Grounding: Resonates with what we do.
sp_BlitzIt
sp_BlitzToBliss
Sp_FirstResponder
I’m thinking:
sp_BlitzBits
sp_BlitzKit
I would say sp_BlitzPerformance because sp_AskBrent gives you performance details.
Well, its about looking at performance and returning metrics so…
sp_BlitzPerformanceMetrics
but since that is a little long… lets shorten it and go with:
sp_BlitzPerfMetrics
sp_Diggs
Rationale:
Brent is a wizard (cue slavish hero worship). Brent’s last name starts with ‘OZ’. Hence Wizard of Oz.
The Wizard of Oz’s true name was Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmannuel Ambroise Diggs (O.Z.P.I.N.H.E.A.D., which he shortened to OZ). Sorry about the pinhead part, Brent – blame Baum for that. So Diggs, the Wizard’s last name.
Diggs has connotations of digging for something. Certainly many SQL implementations have the air of an archaeological dig to them. I assume everyone can dig that.
sp_limpBlitzkit
sp_BlitzOhWhatTheHellHaveYouDoneNow
sp_blitzDeets
sp_blitzenSplunk
sp_blitzkriegBop
sp_facepalm
how about sp_OzarsRazor since it points us to the simplest, and usually correct, solution, not unlike Occam’s Razor. Has the added benefit of being sort of palindromish.
sp_BlitzPulse
sp_BlitzDoctor, sp_WhatsUpDoc
Some people got close to this one but not quite so I’ll go with:
sp_BlitzHealthCheck
sp_BlitzDeezNuts
Someone had to do it… yes, I have young children and I act like one too 🙂
sp_whatsCookingDoc
My vote is for changing it to sp_AskPinalDave… just for maximum confusion points.
sp_PerfMon
sp_Blitz_hereiswhy
sp_whodo because it is like magic…
sp_BlitzOwwie, because you need to know where the pain is in order to K.I.S.S. it.
sp_BlitzFreud – “How are you feeling right now?” haha
Actually, I think it should either be Tara or Swart’s suggestion….
sp_Clu
as in: give me a clu(e) as to why this db server is so darn slow and also “codified likeness utility.”
From the Tron Wiki: “Flynn used Clu a lot for hacking and for fixing Flynn’s banking statements and phone bill problems. Even Flynn himself said that Clu was his best program”….
sp_BallroomBlitz
sp_Proctology
sp_PrepH
what about
sp_tracker
sp_sleuth
SP_PerfStat = Performance Status
1) It’s very easy to recall.
2) Pretty much sums up what it is checking.
3) Doesn’t exist in the current set of Microsoft SQL supplied SP’s, or SP’s created by common SQL Server monitoring packages such as Idera and Dell Spotlight. ((=
Sp_BlitzHealth
Sp_BlitzER – my fave
Sp_BlitzDoc
Great idea to open-source it!
I thank you all at Brentozarunlimited every day for your great contributions!!
Sp_blitzWhy because at first all questions start with Why.
Or
Sp_blitzTackle to keep the reference to American football.
Thanks again from France!!
How about…sp_BlitzIT
sp_SQL_Health
sp_BlitzNow is perfect.
I think sp_WTF would do it!
sp_ShowMeWhereItHurts
It’s like what doctors always ask you when you go to them with pain 🙂
I like sp_slowaitstats
Modern research in psychology shows that three syllable words that have congruency in their composition, either in sound, spelling or imagery, are perceived favorably in our brains and are more easily recalled.
Ok, maybe I just made that last part up, but “sp_slowaitstats” is descriptive, rolls off the tongue and a google search yields zero results. 🙂
How about sp_Tellme?
LOL
sp_BendOver
sp_TurnAndCough
🙂
To me, the Blitz has no specific meaning. I think of the Powershell approved verb rules
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ms714428(v=vs.85).aspx
specifically the diagnostic verbs:
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/system.management.automation.verbsdiagnostic(v=vs.85).aspx
So maybe sp_Debug-SQL or sp_Trace-SQL
sp_BlitzPerf
or
sp_BlitzOS
It’s essentially a performance monitor for SQL OS
sp_WellFrick,WhoISNTactive
sp_ServerEye (for the DBA guy)
sp_why – after all you’re trying to discover why it’s slow…. it’s also playing on the already know sp_who2
sp_Yoda
sp_OZ
sp_WhatIsSlow
sp_WhatNow, with the assuaging sp_WhyMe, and its ancillary sp_FUBAR or its standard edition version of sp_BOHICA
sp_GoFaster
Who wouldn’t want that? You can tell your leader / customer that you just need to run the GoFaster procedure and things will get better soon.
SP_WTF?
sp_ozquery would also be a huge score in Scrabble.
How about SP_BlitzFirst
First check you do in an emergency.
i also like sp_blitzCheck as suggested previously.
I suggest the alternative sp_blitzPickle. to get you out of the pickle.
sp_A_SQL_Ukase_Breakdown_of_Runtime_Entities.
Actually you could just abbreviate that to sp_ASK_BREnt…oh wait…
How about sp_BlitzBrowser ?
It doesn’t correct anything but gives you insight to help you fix it…
sp_BlitzWhySoSlow
SP_Sherlock
Because that stored procedure does a lot of SQL Sleuthing!! (-;
Afternoon,
My thought is: sp_UnderTheHood
sp_Huh!?
sp_WhoDunnit
sp_NowUSeeMe
sp_BloodHound
sp_CatchMeIfUCan
Sp_SQLHelp. It relates to the #sqlhelp we use on twitter for urgent assistance.
Many great suggestions but I’d like to make a couple of point and then you can call me old fashioned:
– “BrentOzar” s a well know brand in DBA circles, ditto for the word “Brent”.
– “Did you ask Brent?” sounds better than “Did you run sp_Blitzxxxxx?” or “what did Brent say?”, when the kiddy DBA comes to you with an “everything is slow”.
– even if you change it, many people will continue to call it sp_AskBrent; do you really want to make me add a line to it each time a new version comes out – I certainly plan to SYNONYMS-ize it.
And so, my suggestion: sp_AskBrent
sp_whathappen_someonesetusupthebomb
sp_IToldYouNotToDoThat
AskyMcAskface
As you want to know the state of your server right now, this name makes it obvious:
sp_BlitzNow
sp_CSI
sp_BlitzOnaRitz
sp_DBAsButt
sp_BlitzWho
sp_WhoBlitz
sp_WhoBrent
sp_ActiveProc
sp_RunningProc
sp_CurrentProc
sp_ViewProc
Replied on twitter but sp_whobrokeit
sp_ProcMon
sp_LiveMon
sp_SqlOsMon
sp_SOS
sp_BlitzZen Because… well just think about it.
sp_IssueFinder
How about sp_BlitzWhySoSlow as it’s the question users tend to ask you?
sp_m8 or sp_BlitzM8 as in “Mate” or Magic 8 (ball)
sp_Blitzy –cuz it’s easy
sp_Blitzer –Wolf Blitzer style
sp_Blitzz — cuz I only need to add 1 more letter
sp_LordBlitzness — who doesn’t like the Lego Movie?
sp_BlitzSpecial — ditto
sp_BlitzThis — get ‘er done
I like sp_BlitzNow
It is a bit wordy, but …
sp_WhatTheBlitzDidTheDevsBreak
Sp_blitzDiag
And btw excellent tool. Thanks
sp_BlitzFalseStart
sp_BlitzRedZone
sp_BlitzHailMary
Keeping with the football theme here…
Just as a side note, I can’t believe someone didn’t try to offer sp_FreeBeer as a new name.
With a side of Fries.
i’d like “sp_Tricorder” or “sp_BlitzTricorder”. Also it can be “sp_SerenityNow”.
sp_BlitzAdvisor
sp_BlitzSeek
sp_BlitzSeeker
sp_BlitzDTA
sp_BlitzShowME
sp_BlitzSQLAdvisor
Sticking with the medical theme – sp_RxStat
sp_BlitzMcBlitzFace
Sp_WhatsUp
SP_SQLicu (SQL Intensive Care Unit)
SP_SQLHale (Another word for health)
SP_BlitzGuide
SP_Focus
SP_Nucleus
How about sp_BlitzScoop as in “what’s the scoop” or “scoop up the data”
Lots of great submissions and this one is probably already mentioned (I haven’t read them all), but I suggest sp_BlitzER.
sp_monitor2
sp_BlitzRx
sp_analyze
sp_BombSquad
Sp_Blitzhealth or sp_SQLDoctor
Sp_BlitzReality
Sp_BlitzUnconfuser
Sp_BlitzSQLEyes
sp_DidYouTryTurningItOffAndOnAgain
Sp_Brentcheck
your name have to stay there for sure to show your kindness.
sp_AnswerMeTheseQuestionsThree
sp_BlitzLikeAnExpert
sp_BlitzTelemetry
SP_ServerStatus
sp_quickBlitz
Is SpBlitzReactions in the thread too lazy right now to read the whole thing? Anyway that’s either my vote or idea delete as appropriate.
Only downside is the little guy @dbareactions may have a good lawyer
Brent + Blitz =
sp_Britz
AskBrent and Blitz already stand apart from the other utilities due to their more general nature; the similar names would help to underscore this fact, with the added benefit that you get a nice bit of L/R chirality to keep them straight.
As a non-native English speaker, I remember in school we had to practice “WH questions”.
I would like to have, apart of sp_who (and its derivatives like sp_WhoIsActive), other useful procedures like sp_why, sp_where, sp_when; and even sp_what (Adam Machanic will probably create his own one – sp_wtf..).
sp_BlitzHMOG to encapsulate the interesting items that pop up at times.
When I started to use sp_AskBrent I did not know much about SQL Server performance and how to check it. The Script was a simple way to find out what is wrong with my server. So I suggest:
sp_SimplePerfCheck
sp_EasyPerfCheck
If you like to switch to have Blitz in all Scripts, which would be a good idea:
sp_BlitzOverview
sp_BlitzSimple
sp_BlitzEasy
I vote for sp_PerformanceBlitz or sp_BlitzEverything or sp_BlitzNow or sp_AskFred
I like sp_BlitzNow or sp_BlitzTriage
How about sp_BlitzPerfLog as it collates performance data?
Sorry if its already been mentioned above.
There are lots of good suggestions!
I would suggest – “sp_Assist”
sp_BlitzPrimer
The thing you start to do your job.
I favor sp_BlitzCheck
“SP”_InTheToilet
I thought about these and they were all already proposed
sp_AskBlitz
sp_BlitzKit
sp_BlitzWTF
sp_LimpBlitzkit
so I say sp_BlitzReviewIt
Blitz being the quickness in the kit, you need another to generate it, so sp_Lightning sounds like the best power generator.
Shouldn’t they really be “usp_” as are still user provided (DBA) routines?
usp_blitzdetect — it says it all
usp_blitz1stLine — your 1st line of SQL support ideas
usp_blitzwtf — pretty to the point 🙂
usp_blitzidentify
… just a few ideas
If I remember well sp_ as naming convention could be a performance issue in it self as our beloved SQL has internal code to handle this differently, else use blitz_ and add one of all above perfect names to it 😉
The “sp_” actually means “special” not “stored procedure”. I’d say that the sp_Blitz___ procedures are, in fact, special.
http://sqlperformance.com/2012/10/t-sql-queries/sp_prefix
I think it is important to give credit to the originator of any code, so I like sp_BOMetrics.
sp_blitzCheck – because that’s what is being done, we’re checking. Unfortunately, I believe this suggestion was posted once already. How about sp_blitzRead ? hmmm… Given X parameters we’re reading what’s going on in the server when it is run. Yes. That’d work well.
sp_AskJeeves
Or is that one taken already?
Well then how about…
sp_AskClippy
How about just sp_WhatsWrong ? Seems simple enough, says what it does, and is pretty accurate as to the nature of it’s results.
Some alternatives:
sp_WhatToLookAt
sp_WhatNext
sp_WhatsNext
sp_WhatDoIDoNow
sp_WhatsWrong
sp_WhereToLook
sp_WWBOD — (What Would Brent Ozar Do?)
sp_OzarHelp
sp_BOZ_Info
sp_BOZAR — kinda like sonar, but Brent-ified, so to speak…
sp_PerfHelp
sp_PerfData
sp_PerfGofer
Sp_BlitzStatus
Sp_BlitzCurrentStatus
Sp_BlitzInstanceStatus
Sp_InstanceStatus
sp_Bliss
sp_Yoga
+1
How about : UP_Blitzen. Why? Because my SQL server is powered by Santa’s reindeer and I want this script to be named after one of them. “UP” because that’s not only what you are supposed to name procedures (actually, anything != “sp” will do) but it’s also a good place for the server to be (up, as opposed to down, or in the mud in my backyard because my chickens have destroyed it. It being my yard, not my SQL server. Haha. Just realized I have a chicken named “io”, after the moon of Jupiter, not IO.) where was I? Oh, right. Naming your procedure….
I would also be happy with sp_blitzen or even sp_eatMoreChicken, though the use of “sp” will never, ever make me happy.
Since you aren’t really supposed to use sp anyway (at least, that’s the advice I’ve always heard) you could also try something like moving your “blitz” to the front on ALL your procedures as blitz_ or bltz_ then you could call this one bltz_it or bltz_q (for question) or even bltz_blitzen. You could then tell people that the BLTZ stands for Backups Logs TranZactions = BLTZ. It’s all about these things, right? “Why the ‘Z’?” Some foolish mortal might ask. “It’s phonetic, and adds j’ne sais quoi(sp?)” you’ll say. “And panache!” It could also be “B
I used to have a similar script that you could “ask” to search the audit logs in the past for a specified time frame for painful, long running queries. I called it up_whatHappened (up because every Dba who I ever showed sp_whtaHappened to told me to call it and there is probably code still floating around that renames sp_ to up_ on that script). As you know, whatHappened and it’s baby, up_VARSCAT, later became up_LookingGlass and is a major part of a major database driven product called Relativity. I’m only saying this in order to establish my pedigree and qualifications here as a master procedure namer. I’m not trying to brag, or make all these other nubes look bad so you will pick mine. I would never do that. Never. Oh hey, did you know that guy Erik Darling helped me write it? Well, most parts of it anyway. Him and his clever joinery…what was that thing called…right! CROSS APPLY or something like that…he was so good at those.)
Hi Erik. How’s the wife and kid? Made another one yet? Got one on the way? Can we name him/her on here, too? Brent, give my love to Erica and Ernie. We should get dinner soon.
XOXOXOX
Scott
PS I hope all my poorly veiled attacks against your use of “sp” isn’t so offensive that it causes you to throw this tremendously long answer that I am writing while lying in bed and listening to Sunshine crowing through my window in the backyard into the trash. (Ha! Parse THAT <—)
P.P.S. I have a pet rooster names "Sunshine".
*”B…BLTZ could also be Bacon Lettuce and TomatoeZ.”
This was a contribution made by my wife while I was reading it to her, which she made me do because she wanted to know why I kept chuckling so hard every time the rooster crowed.
This is like when you catch your grandparents writing private messages in status updates.
HELLO SCOTT!
Admit it: moving blitz to the appropriate place (bltz_ )* is the only good idea that has fruited from this rotating down the drain thread of inanity…speaking of which….
…Have you ever flushed a thread on a spool down the toilet with a wad of tissue at the end? Hold the spool on something so that it can rotate freely. When you pull the thread back out, measure it, and it will tell you how far you are from the sewer.
I don’t really know if that will work or not, I just made it up. Why? Because this is the Internet. That’s what we do here. We make shit up. Dammit. I miss our marathon calls. The insults, the barbs, the witty conversation.
*AND, it has the added bonus that if you do it, I will have renamed ALL of your scripts. *sigh* You won’t do it. It would be too much. Brent’s head would explode.
1. Measure circumference of thread spool
2. Make single red line down side
3. Tie thread around… wait, no, nevermind.
Not to say Oracle ever does things better, but maybe steal an Oracle name for similar tool. Oracle has a damn good tool call ORACHK for Oracle Check. So maybe call your offering sp_blitz_sscheck
…or SQLCheck
sp_BlitzTriage is my favorite so far. But if you want to have some fun with the name…
Mystically themed:
sp_CrystalBall
sp_ManBehindTheCurtain
Hunting themed:
sp_ServerSkinner
sp_SQLGuts
Military themed:
sp_BlackBox
sp_WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot (My Personal Favorite)
To be honest, I like the original title (sp_AskBrent). Not only is it simple to remember but it’s his mind that put a lot of this stuff together and at least one of these incredibly useful procs should have his name in the title even if it is going open source.
I like Sp_Blitzhealth or Sp_blitzNow
Keep it short an simple
Sp_BlitzWhyWait
sp_Rudolph
Hey, who guides the sleigh?
Although, if you use sp_Blitzen, then you have an entire block of potential script names. Do note that the beta should be named sp_Blixen. I would also caution against sp_Donner. One has visions of buggy code eating up the data. You sleigh me.
JudgementDay
sp_Sh!tzBrokeYo (get this alot from my users), sp_WWCD (what would Codd do) or sp_HaveYouTriedTurningitOffandOnAgain (too long? yeah, maybe)
In all seriousness like style, I do like Tara’s recommendation of sp_BlitzNow. It just makes sense.
sp_answers
or sp_insight ?
:0)
sp_Blitz2TheQuickening
sp_BlitzenTrapper
sp_BlitzSchlitz
and the best one yet –
sp_BlitzOfThrones – in the game of SQL you either live or you die.
I think I am going to have to have to vote for Dan Meenan’s sp_OzarsRazor.
To quote William of Ockham
IN OMNIBUS curiosus existis, nec me desinis infestare.
Which is largely how SQL server must view us.
Separate of that and continuing on the sleigh/reindeer theme (Scott started it!) – sp_Vozok, favored by the sp_Boyars. The Wikipedia entry pretty much describes the Vozok/SQL connection to a t. There’s probably some sort of numerology thing going on here.
Baum added ten more reindeer in his Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, so you guys need to ramp up script writing a little.
The men in the white coats are coming for my daily walk, so I must leave you now…
sp_BlitzOnTheFritz
sp_Colonoscopy
sp_Sleuth
sp_BlitzSleuth
sp_InspectorClouseau
sp_BlitzFritzFinder
sp_Blitzkrieg gets a +1 (drat it was already posted/submitted)
so I submit…
sp_BlitzPains
@brent – first thing that I did after reading this post was to spend a few minutes playing with the humor of the sp – good job! I like the fact that you make sure to always have a fun factor associated with your work.
@tara – sp_blitzNow isn’t that informative of what it does (It does tell you “when” it is happening…) – guess I’m not gonna get your Everything Bundle… oh well.
@Michael J Swart – SP_BlitzTriage +1
@David Hirsch – sp_blitz911 +1
@Auber – sp_blitzhelp +1
my vote would be sp_BlitzDistress
reasoning would be to keep the sp_Blitz prefix, and then describe the condition you’re in when you would be running this. Since this sproc has different functions, triage or the like isn’t accurate in all situations… hence the idea of working on the user’s condition rather than the functionality of the procedure.
sp_ReleaseTheKracken
How about:
sp_BlitzVitalStats
sp_BlitzVitalSigns
sp_BlitzDiagnostics
sp_BlitzEngineCheck
sp_BlitzONE
sp_BlitzSQL911
sp_BlitzLaserNinjaDragonShow
Sort of a medical spin, but what about sp_BlitzCPR, sp_BlitzHeartRate or sp_BlitzHeartbeat.
sp_BlitzPerfMon — a one-up on the Windows version (or two-up, or three-up…)
sp_ServerStatus
Easy ..peasy ..Handy any time..on any server…install once on all servers and use it when needed ..just like sp_whoisactive !
I thought, keep the number of characters short, yet informative.
sp_inform
Regardless what you call it, it will continue to be a great product.
Sp_sqlhelp goes along with the twitter hashtag #sqlhelp for urgent help
I still submit sp_AskDiogenesClub yeah its a bit geeky but I like it
I think of sp_BlitzPace
sp_HealthCheck
or sp_DBHealthCheck
sp_BlitzGuru speaks for itself. Everyone (well, I think most everyone) knows what a guru is. It describes the function without being too stern or serious. It’s clear, concise and light-hearted, much like the tone of your writing, Brent.
Why change it? As sp_AskBrent it is well known and has a great reputation (maybe it took years to build that). And also there is nothing wrong with the lighter side of it (ask a question).
Also it gives Brent the credits he deserves.
From BO…”Cute, but now that it’s open source, it’s time to give it a name that matches the important stuff it does”.
sp_AskMe
Simply sp_BlitzSQL, then Erik can add his sp_BlitzOracle
You overestimate my Oracle abilities, sir.
sp_BlitzWhereITHurtz
or
sp_BlitzThePain
I agree with Jeff Moden, sp_AskBrent is a well known brand in our community – unless you want to change it like Coke: sp_NewAskBrent 😛 Why change something that ain’t broke?
So sp_whoisBrent is out?
Buck the status quo and move into the present, and away from “dbo.sp_” anything…. create a BLITZ schema and use descriptive names…
blitz.ask
blitz.trace
blitz.index
blitz.cache
blitz.ssrs
Whoa, I must be crazy.
After the UK’s Brexit vote…. it can only be;
sp_Brentxit !
;0)
Hi Brent How about
sp_Triage Short 🙂
Tara’s BlitzNow seems a good idea to me 🙂
I unashamedly admit I am a random person that agrees with Tara’s suggestion of sp_BlitzNow…!
sp_BlitzNow or
sp_Fixer or
sp_ZoneBlitz or
sp_BlitzThemAll or
sp_Magic or
sp_CrystalBall or
sp_BlitzER (read it as “Blitz E/R” or “Blitzer” – either way it works)
[sp_sho’nuff] – “Come on, Leroy. Teach me something.”
Yes, I dated myself!
sp_BlitzActivity
Too late for the vote, but here goes:
sp_FirstAid
sp_FirstResponder
sp_Code3
sp_Brentalyzer
It prevents DWIs – Databasing While Idiotic
How about…
sp_Brentinator
…he’ll be back.