Pessimist: “The glass is half empty.”

Optimist: “The glass is half full.”

Database Administrator: “The glass is sized correctly for peak loads.”

Virtualization Admin: “This person should be sharing a Dixie Cup with the guys in accounting.”

Business Intelligence Admin: “How can we upsell this customer to bottled water?”

Security Admin: “Whose glass is this? Half of the water has gone missing.”

Storage Admin: “This glass needs thin provisioning.”

ETL Admin: “We need a faster way to fill this glass.”

Active Directory Admin: “We need a secondary glass for redundancy.”

Backup Admin: “Nobody told me to take a snapshot of the full glass.”

Break Fix Admin: “Hang on, I’ll go get you another glass.”

Linux Admin: “I bet I could build a better glass myself.”

Project Manager: “I need a FTE for 15 minutes to accomplish the deliverable of a full glass.”

Azure Developer: “Why buy your own glass? The clouds are full of water.”

jQuery Developer: “When you start drinking, it automatically refills.”

Mac User: “Check out how much thinner and smaller my glass is, and it holds that much water too.”

Twitter: “The faucet is over capacity. Please wait a moment and try again.”