Erik Darling, Postmodern Mortician

Erik ponders how peanut butter ended up in the jelly jar.

Do you have nonclustered indexes that are over a terabyte? Identity columns nearing the integer maximum? Are you worried about how you’re going to maintain, backup, and consistency check these databases in a reasonable window? Are your drives old and running out of space? Drop me a line!

Talk nerdy to me:

  • Managing VLDBs
  • Environment optimization
  • Query and index tuning
  • T-SQL trickery
  • Automating the awful parts of your day
  • Heavily peated single malts

When I’m not teaching archery at Camp Ozar, you can find me attempting to have positive and functional relationships with: my wife and kid, science fiction, reasonably obscure synthesizer driven music, YouTube playlists of 80s commercials, my lucky server upgrade mustache, and barbell training.

You can also find me giving out books in exchange for correct trivia answers at SQL user groups.

Contact me, and we shall converse.

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