YO! DBA Raps

Now, here’s a little story I got to tell
About two bad bloggers you know so well
Michelle Ufford is the @SQLFool
And Ward Pond, he’s a twit, but of course he’s cool

She don’t have a horsey named Paul Revere
But she drops mad lyrics, you can see ‘em here
They’re good stuff, but you know Ward Pond
He couldn’t let go and he had to respond

DBA Company Car

Next thing you know, folks were pickin’ sides
Bustin’ rhymes on Twitter of a 140 size
But them little fields can’t contain our attacks
Cause we like our rhymes in a VARCHAR(MAX)

So the Fool started up a rap showdown
To let tweeps like you come and clown around
You’re lucky I’m a judge, not a running man
Cuz you don’t wanna see my execution plan

Now I’ve seen that crap that you call SQL
Better bring your real sugar, not the Equal
You won’t win this with a copy/paste
Show your best A game and not your O face.

*Yo, I’m rappin.  I ain’t Celine Dion.  I’m keepin’ it realz.

Brent Ozar

Brent specializes in performance tuning for SQL Server, VMware, and storage. He's one of the very few Microsoft Certified Masters of SQL Server, a published author, and a Microsoft MVP. He likes travel, Jeeps, Apple gear, jokes, and writing about himself in the third person. Read more and contact Brent.

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