REDMOND, WA – Microsoft announced today that SQL Server vNext’s editions will be named by their new marketing partner, Taco Bell.
“We’re excited that SQL Server Supreme Edition is now our top-of-the-line product, replacing Enterprise Edition. When you hunger for warm, satisfying In-Memory OLTP wrapped in the power of unlimited memory, only SQL Server Supreme Edition satisfies,” said product manager Mark “Tex” Souza of Microsoft’s Data Platform Group.
Souza continued, “Like the Sriracha Quesarito, which is the best of a quesadilla and a burrito rolled into one, Windows Azure SQL Database offers a great hybrid of the SQL Server you know and love, plus the tasty goodness of Microsoft-managed cloud services. Therefore, we’re renaming it as the Microsoft Databasarito.”
At press time, we’re still trying to confirm that Express Edition has been added to the Taco Bell Dollar Cravings menu, and track down the rumor of a new product code named Fourthdatabase.
11 Comments. Leave new
what’s that you smell? probably just some delicious Fourth Normal Form Meal.
HAHAHA, I love it.
Cheesy Chicken rollbacks are my fav.
I actually rather like the name “Microsoft Databasarito”.
Server Supreme sounds like a real possibility too. 🙂
Express, Web, Standard, & Enterprise Editions will now be renamed: to Regular, Supreme, Cool Ranch, and Fiery Dorito.
Though, if you have too many of the databasaritos, pretty soon, you’ll be running to find a “TempDB.”
and demanding the Jr DBA perform regular flushing and deodorizing of the TempDB
Do you want Mild, Med, or MaxDOP?
Spicy T-SQL sauce is extra!
Customers who choose Supreme Edition can do so secure in the knowledge that they’ll be AlwaysOn…the can!
Gives a whole new meaning to the term “code smells”.