I think Tim Ford aka SQLAgentMan was the first with this, but now it’s turned into a monster. On Twitter, we’re trading SQL putdowns. You can find ‘em on search.twitter.com by searching for #SQLputdowns.
Update - Jason Massie aka StatisticsIO even did a Captain Varchar(MAX) comic about the #SQLputdowns, and there’s some funnies in the comments.
Update #2 - the day’s winding down but this meme is still going strong, and here’s my personal favorites from the chatter:
- Yo mama so dumb she separates statements with STOP. - JCumberland
- Yo mamma so ugly the server spontaneously runs an ALTER VIEW whenever she logs in. - Flagster
- Yo momma’s so dumb, she thought SET NO COUNT ON would protect her from Dracula. - abnormalus
- Yo momma’s so ugly, ain’t nobody got her connection string. - abnormalus
- Yo mama ain’t gettin an inner join without a tic-tac! - LeeBrandt
- Yo’ mamma’s so dumb she thinks SELECT * (star) is the next big reality game show. - ArcaneCode
- Yo momma’s so ugly even the full text search engine refuses to find her. - ArcaneCode
- Yo momma’s so dumb she thinks that a CHECK CONSTRAINT is why she has to pay cash at the Piggly Wiggly store - Joey96
- Yo momma’s so dumb she bought your dad autogrow instead of viagra - DPenton
- Yo momma’s feet so big, her shoe size is MAX - DamonRipper
- Yo momma’s so ugly, she breaks database mirrors - debettap
- Your momma must be an OLTP system, cause she’s getting inserts all the time! - whatduh
- You momma’s so fat she has her OWN datatype. - SQLCraftsman
- You momma is a few nodes short of a B-Tree - SQLCraftsman
- Yo mamma is so freaking that we had to put her in single user mode. - StatisticsIO
- yo mamma is so dumb, she thinks foriegn keys involve immigration - carpdeus
- Yo momma so fat, we set her clothes to autogrow - KBrianKelley
- Yo mamma wears sp_depends - JoeWebb
All over the country, DBAs are chuckling to themselves….
