Somebody created a Halloween monster #SQLputdowns

I think Tim Ford aka SQLAgentMan was the first with this, but now it’s turned into a monster.  On Twitter, we’re trading SQL putdowns.  You can find ’em on search.twitter.com by searching for #SQLputdowns.

Here were my personal favorites from the chatter:

• Yo mama so dumb she separates statements with STOP. – JCumberland
• Yo mamma so ugly the server spontaneously runs an ALTER VIEW whenever she logs in. – Flagster
• Yo momma’s so dumb, she thought SET NO COUNT ON would protect her from Dracula. – abnormalus
• Yo momma’s so ugly, ain’t nobody got her connection string. – abnormalus
• Yo mama ain’t gettin an inner join without a tic-tac! – LeeBrandt
• Yo’ mamma’s so dumb she thinks SELECT * (star) is the next big reality game show. – ArcaneCode
• Yo momma’s so ugly even the full text search engine refuses to find her. – ArcaneCode
• Yo momma’s so dumb she thinks that a CHECK CONSTRAINT is why she has to pay cash at the Piggly Wiggly store – Joey96
• Yo momma’s so dumb she bought your dad autogrow instead of viagra – DPenton
• Yo momma’s feet so big, her shoe size is MAX – DamonRipper
• Yo momma’s so ugly, she breaks database mirrors – debettap
• Your momma must be an OLTP system, cause she’s getting inserts all the time! – whatduh
• You momma’s so fat she has her OWN datatype. – SQLCraftsman
• You momma is a few nodes short of a B-Tree – SQLCraftsman
• Yo mamma is so freaking that we had to put her in single user mode. – StatisticsIO
• yo mamma is so dumb, she thinks foriegn keys involve immigration – carpdeus
• Yo momma so fat, we set her clothes to autogrow – KBrianKelley
• Yo mamma wears sp_depends – JoeWebb

All over the world, DBAs are chuckling to themselves….