How to Throttle Logins to SQL Server

So, uh, you can use WAITFOR in a logon trigger:

You probably don’t want it to be TOO long, lest their app report it as a connection timeout. You want it just slow enough to make them angry.

I mean, theoretically. I would certainly never do anything like this. And I’m certainly not as diabolical as Dave Dustin:

And as long as I’m talking about triggers, Marc Brooks had a request:

Sure! Here you go:

That one’s an especially bad idea because it’ll likely break 3rd party apps and maybe even SQL Server upgrades.

And I know what you’re thinking: does that trick work in TempDB? Kinda – it prevents the creation of “regular” tables, like dbo.Whatever, but it doesn’t prevent the creation of temp tables.

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