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Optimists, Pessimists and Technology People

Pessimist: “The glass is half empty.” Optimist: “The glass is half full.” Database Administrator: “The glass is sized correctly for peak loads.” Virtualization Admin: “This person should be sharing a Dixie Cup with the guys in accounting.” Business Intelligence Admin: “How can we upsell this customer to bottled water?” Security Admin: “Whose glass is this?…
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Meeting Minutes for Trigger Design

What would it have been like to sit in the first meeting where somebody decided to implement triggers inside a database server? … Manager: “Alright, everybody’s here, let’s get started.  First item on the agenda: how’s that self-tuning piece coming along?  It’s going to be ready for this version, right?” Developer A: “Yep, lookin’ good. …
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Somebody created a Halloween monster #SQLputdowns

I think Tim Ford aka SQLAgentMan was the first with this, but now it’s turned into a monster.  On Twitter, we’re trading SQL putdowns.  You can find ’em on search.twitter.com by searching for #SQLputdowns. Here were my personal favorites from the chatter: Yo mama so dumb she separates statements with STOP. – JCumberland Yo mamma…
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