Even when you love your job, you can get too much of a good thing. How do you know when your love of technology is taking you too far away from reality?

Take our quiz to diagnose your mental state.

Our Quiz: Diagnose if Your Inner Geek is Out of Control

Have you found yourself doing any of the following? Assign yourself 1 point for each positive answer.

5. Your voicemail greeting says, “The DBA was not found or was not accessible. Verify that the name is correct and that the DBA is configured to allow remote connections.”

4. You answer a user complaint with the statement, “You have been chosen as the deadlock victim, please retry your transaction.”

3. Your boss asks you to redo work for a coworker. You say, “Your ROLLBACK request has no corresponding BEGIN TRANSACTION.”

2. Your email signature contains the phrase “The DBA is waiting for an internal operation to complete. If you encounter this problem regularly, report it to Microsoft.”

1. When asked to do anything unpleasant, you answer: “A severe error occurred on the current command. The results, if any, should be discarded.”

How to Get Help

If you scored even a single point on our quiz, it’s time to seek help. As a first step back to reality, try looking at pictures of cute animals.

Kendra Little
My goal is for you to understand your SQL Server’s behavior– and learn how to change it. When I’m not figuring out the solutions to your database problems, you’ll find me at user group meetings in Portland, Oregon. I also love to draw.
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  1. Brilliant. I am going to start using #4 immediately.

  2. #3 and #4 are going to become regulars I can see it.. Love it..

  3. Yes – Absolutely Brilliant ! Love them all.

  4. Number 3 for the win, LOL!

  5. Nice! =))
    I liked #1, #3 but #4 is my favourite now =)

  6. I use cntrl-E to execute queries/scripts in SSMS.

    Occasionally, I find myself hitting cntrl-E in other programs when I want them to perform the obvious action. That seems like a too-much-SQL-Server warning.

  7. That’s an awesome list, Kendra!

    I have another one –
    When your manager/co-worker asked you how the meeting went, your answer is:
    “An error occurred while executing batch. Error message is: Exception of type ‘System.OutOfMemoryException’ was thrown.”

    (warning: do not say the above if you forget to buy a present for your wife on her birthday, ever!)


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