Want to Work With Brent, Jeremiah, and Kendra?

We’re looking for a few good database professionals.

Well, actually, right now we’re just looking for one.  Things are going really well here at Brent Ozar Unlimited®, and it’s time to grow our family.  We’re hiring our first full time employee, and just like everything else we do, we figured we’d blog about it.  We figure we suck a lot less than most companies, so this is a fun way to introduce ourselves as potential employers.  Let’s start by covering what the job is like.

What We Do for Clients

Sometimes we even get to go to clients’ weddings! Thanks, Yanni!

People email us when their database applications are causing them pain.  We start new clients the same way an emergency room handles new patients – well, actually, nothing like that, because emergency rooms have a lot of paperwork and they smell bad.  What I really mean is that we triage the patient with a SQL Server Health Checkup: we spend 2-3 days together (usually remotely over WebEx) going through an extensive health review to pinpoint the cause of their technology pains.

This health check involves:

  • Querying the DMVs
  • Reviewing database schema (tables, indexes, stored procs)
  • Checking the plan cache for resource-intensive queries
  • Examining the server’s hardware
  • Digging into storage (SAN) and VMware, and much more

Unlike an emergency room, we actually teach the patient – I mean, client – as we go along.  We show them how to diagnose health and performance issues so they can repeat this same process on their other servers.  We go off on wild tangents to answer questions that they’ve always wondered about how SQL Server works.

We finish the health check with a presentation that covers the source of the pain points and a prioritized to-do list for the client’s staff.  We don’t just jiggle a few knobs and call it good – we teach the client what needs to be done so they can do a better job of solving their problems quickly going forward.  Sometimes it’s a query change, sometimes it’s a server configuration change, and sometimes it’s rearchitecting a new way to store and access data.

Doing these health checks requires a tremendous amount of expertise in SQL Server, hardware, storage, virtualization, application coding, and frankly, politics.  Your job as a consultant will eventually be to run these health checks yourself – but we don’t expect you to get there overnight.

What We’ll Do for You

If you want to relieve technology pain, you’ve gotta do research and development – and that takes time and effort.  To stay current on the latest techniques, we usually work 3-4 billable days per week.  Your 1-2 non-billable days per week will be spent improving our products (health checks & training), learning about SQL Server, and giving back to the community.  If you’d like to blog and present, you’ll have plenty of opportunity with our blogs, our free weekly webcasts, our email newsletter, our free posters, our online video library, and giving back on #SQLhelp  – we’re always looking for new ways to help people for free.

Going into consulting with us is like a turbo button for your SQL Server experience: you’ll be exposed to amazing clients doing cool things with SQL Server, hardware, virtualization, and the cloud.  This week, for example, Jeremiah is helping a business move their SQL Servers into the cloud, Brent’s planning a SQL Server 2012 AlwaysOn deployment for a TV network, and Kendra’s doing a health check and training a client on index tuning.  (Tim’s decided not to go the consulting route, so he’s taking the SQLCruise portion of Brent Ozar Unlimited® and going a separate way – here’s his post about it.)  You get to shadow us on work to increase your skills, and when you’ve got a question, you can get in-depth answers from 3 of the funniest people in the business.

Dining with Buck Woody on SQLCruise Alaska

We want happy people, so we offer great benefits:

  • 6 weeks paid vacation per year
  • 2 fully paid domestic conferences (you don’t have to be a speaker) and that doesn’t count against your vacation time
  • If you’re an MVP, we’ll pay for your travel & time to the annual MVP Summit too
  • Health insurance
  • Full time telecommuting with a max of 1 week of travel per 2 months
  • Paid certification attempts (whether you pass or fail)
  • Home internet/VOIP/cell phone expenses paid
  • $3,000 hardware/software budget every 2 years to pick your own tools (we like Apple gear, but you can pick whatever you want – you’re your own IT department)

Even though it’s full time telecommuting, this position is only open to US residents already authorized to work in the US full time.  We can’t sponsor visas, and most of our clients are in the US, so we need to keep US travel expenses & time zones in mind.

How We’ll Pick the Right Candidate

Jeremiah Peschka eating tempura fried bacon. You read that right.

We’re looking for people with at least a couple of years of hands-on database administration experience.  We love all kinds of database professionals, and we might hire the rest of you later too, but this role is specifically for performing and improving our database health checks, and we want DBA experience there.  No, we don’t have a name for this role yet – we’re not too big on titles, and we’re actually looking for input from you to define your title.  Leave your job title ideas in the comments even if you’re not applying.  The current front runners are Expert, Consultant, and Bacon Wrangler.  I’m thinking about merging all three into Expert Bacon Wrangler Consultant.

If you’re the kind of person who loves to share by writing and presenting even when you’re not getting paid to do it, we’ll know you’re passionate about technology, and that’s what’s most important to us.  You don’t have to be a Microsoft Certified Master – you just have to be genuinely excited by Microsoft SQL Server and willing to share your enthusiasm with others.

Sound like your kind of job?  Email us at Help@BrentOzar.com.  If you’ve got a resume, include it, but don’t go to any work to build a new one.  We’ll Google your name to see what you’ve been doing for the community and where you’ve been speaking, and that’s better than almost any resume we could read.

And if you haven’t been giving back to the community by writing and presenting, well – here’s your sign that it’s time to start.

Because this won’t be the last person we hire.

UPDATE Friday 16th: We found our dream hire! Stay tuned….and if you didn’t have time to apply, drop us a line. We’ll keep you on our radar for next time.

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45 Comments. Leave new

  • Oh man, literally my dream job. If only I was A) Qualified enough and B) You know, living in the location of the job.

    Best of luck, I know you’ll get the right person!

  • Must… resist… urge… to… apply…

  • Claire Duncan
    March 15, 2012 7:16 am

    Fantastic job. Love the style of engagement and the approach. Best line = ‘in-depth answers from 3 of the funniest people in the business.’

    Somehow, I knew it was building up to US Citizens only, otherwise . . . . .

  • Now if onlu I just lived in the US then… 🙂
    Good luck with the search, it will be one fortunate individual that lands this position

  • As Neil says, shame about the US only bit. Maybe in a few years, when you’re going for World Domination…

  • Glenn Thompson (SQLGlenn)
    March 15, 2012 9:28 am

    I am smart enough to know that I am no where near smart enough to work for such a great group. Best of luck on finding an employee.

    • HAHAHA, thanks, but don’t say that, sir! You don’t know us that well – put together, we can barely figure out how to use Skype. It’s a miracle we haven’t earned our own Darwin Awards.

  • Sounds like a Fun job, too bad I don’t want to move to US just yet; I’ll stay in Canada. I would like the opperunity to work with yaa, from what I heard from a MVP. Maybe in distant future :).

  • Looks like I need to get out from behind the scenes of organizing our local user groups and SQL Saturdays, and create a more public persona…

    Speaking of which, looking forward to seeing Kendra and Jeremiah at the upcoming SQL Saturday 120 in Southern California!

  • Wow, what an awesome gig! Having a hard time thinking of a better opportunity than plush benefits along with working with a team of all stars.

  • Sounds almost like a European job with 6 weeks vacation AND 2 paid domestic conferences.

    Wish I had more hands on with some of the EE level features.

  • Brent,

    Why would a green card be unacceptable for the reasons cited?

    • Justin – that’s something we would consider, but we’re blissfully ignorant on issues like that.

      • Brent, a green card is like a citizen – with only two differences, he/she cannot vote, and he/she does not hold a US passport which poses certain travel restrictions.Just fyi.

        And what an awesome job description, but am nowhere near qualified to apply, would go blank even to be interviewed technically by you all, although you are the friendliest people on the planet otherwise 🙂

      • IANAL but I am married to a naturalized citizen. With a green card, other than committing a crime or leaving the country for a year, your as good as a citizen for most employment situations. I would say you might be breaking some law (again IANAL but I assume you retain one) by posting the position for US citizens only.

        • You cannot be out of the country for six months at a stretch with a GC,unless you have a very valid reason. Yes most employers other than certain government organisations that have sensitive data such as defense treat green cards and citizenships the same. Unless of course you are looking at a great deal of overseas travel (overseas including Canada) – then a citizen with a US passport is probably a better choice.

          • Thank you guys for your comments.

            I would just like to emphasize that we love to work with people from different backgrounds and cultures. We absolutely do not discriminate based on those factors or anything of that sort.

            I don’t mean that your comments implied otherwise, I just feel so strongly on the topic that I wanted to comment. I have worked with many many talented people from all around the world– and getting the chance to work with those people was my favorite thing about my time working at Microsoft.

          • Kendra, didn’t mean one bit that you do, was just explaining the technicalities. Very much looking forward to being with you all on SQL Cruise. 🙂

          • I can’t wait! I’m so glad you’re on board.

          • There are exceptions. I have a family member that was sent overseas to take over the Chief Financial responsibility of a multinational company, just having a green card. He spent over 9 months outside the US and managed to obtain his citizenship afterwards.

  • “whether you pass or fail” – I love this. You understand that the financial risk of failure prevents many from even attempting it. You understand that even failure allows one to grow.

    It sounds like you’d be a great group to work with – and a few months ago I did find myself asking, “What if…?” I’m still green on the public presence aspect, but I’m actively building my community presence with this in mind. Today is not the day, but some day, maybe.

  • Doubt you’ll consider me, but I put in my application anyway. RAWR!

  • I’m throwing my hat into the ring too! I can’t imagine a better job where I’d get to learn every day, and get to push myself this hard. AWESOME!

  • I’m not going to be picky here. Bacon Prep Cook works for me.

  • I am still in the Neophyte DBA stage. But your book, other books, and several blogs are helping me go through a rapid DBA progression.

    Ask again in a couple of years and I would be able to apply.

  • Wow, this is awesome. There no way i’m qualified though. I must express kudos over your approach. Keep it up!

  • David Maxwell
    March 15, 2012 6:55 pm

    Hell, I’ll apply if just to go through the vetting process to see where I stand. Could be nothing but educational. (I’ve done so before, so why not?)

  • I like the title

  • Ok, this would be so freakin’ awesome! But alas, not enough of the virtual ‘social’ aspect done in my career. Mostly my own fault for taking on roles that are sequestered into corners and not really allowed to communicate much with anyone, even the client 1/2 the time. It is getting better, but I am going to have to work on those virtual skills and hope there is another opportunity like this sometime in the future.

  • Wow, talk about a dream job description. It’s like you are running the lottery. Maybe you should give out a lottery ticket to each applicant? 🙂

  • I’m thinking Bacon Consumer Advocate would be an appropriate job title.

  • Wow! I live about 40 minutes from Kendra & Jeremiah. Just have to get Brent to move out to Oregon….

    I suspect that if I were on your team my title would be either “Chief Goat wrangler”, or “SQL Stitcher”.

  • Do you need a dish washer? I’m pretty good at washing dishes.

  • You are going to let us know who you hired, right? You’re not just going to stick them in some hole and let us forget about them? 😉

    • David – HA! Yep, we picked a winner and we’ll be announcing ’em soon. (See, I didn’t say him or her there. Gotta keep thinking ahead of you guys and gals…)

  • I am late to the party as usual but congrats on finding someone!

    With those benefits and the chance to work with your team it sounds like a dream job to me! Too bad I am in the same boat as Glenn.

    Cheers!

    Chris W

  • I must admit that I would’ve seen next to you in the team Buck Woody :-). He’s as effervescent as Brent and you’d make a crazy team together..

    I know that you already found the new team member, so congratulations to you all for finding the F :-).

  • Elizabeth Priddy
    February 5, 2013 10:58 am

    Very cool! I’ll try to keep an eye out if you open up a position again!

  • Racim BOUDJAKDJI
    June 2, 2013 6:30 pm

    It is just a shame you don’t hire EEC citizen in remote work…There is a huge market here for knowledgeable SQL practitioners and I sometime dream of some kind of global network of SQL professionals to insure a response is always guaranteed to this kind of need. I can not count the number of requests I get from customers I can not respond to because I simply do not have the time and resources. I sometime feel lonely in a word of charlatans.

    Bets of luck into finding knowledgeable people.

    • Hi! Thanks for the comment, but I’m a little confused. If you get tons of requests from customers and you’re overflowing with work…why would you want to join us as an employee? Enjoy your success as a consultant!

      • Racim BOUDJAKDJI
        June 4, 2013 12:23 pm

        <>
        Simple: Loneliness.

        Even though I am free and my customers are happy, I’d like the idea to have a team of knowledgeable people with me with level of skill I could *thrust* to be able to say sometime “I safely can go onto vacation because my buddies are *really* taking over for me”. I dream of situation when I could tell some previous customers who ask me for support plans while I am on new project: well I am currently on a mission but you can have full confidence into my friend for providing the same level of service than I do. My customers fully thrust me and I don’t want to disappoint that thrust.

        I sometime wander whether *serious* database practitioners are condemned to not know how to organize themselves into corporations and remain into craftsmanship work and niche markets.

        Regards

      • Racim BOUDJAKDJI
        June 4, 2013 12:35 pm

        Another way to respond to your question: I do not know about US zone but in France, I can only count into 1 hands fingers, the number of people I could recommend to have the same consulting quality standards that I propose to my customers . Unfortunately, most of them are as busy as I do.

        I guess we all want at some point to belong to something bigger and where we feel at home.

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