Take the ‘un’ out of virtualization*

Your virtual servers are performing poorly. DBAs, no one understands you. Sysadmins, no one understands you. VMware admins, no one understands you. Justin Beiber, no one understands you.

Chances are, if you are a human being on Earth, you can relate to the situation above.

Brent Ozar Unlimited has been doing virtualization for over a decade, since way way before it was cool, and we’d like to share our recipe:

  • Explain Things in a Way That Doesn’t Suck – This is our trademarked (not really), patented (super not really) method for alleviating the most common symptoms of virtualizationitis such as confusion, frustration, internal tension.
  • Training – We train different members of your team on virtualization best practices and, more importantly, how to integrate their work.

Free relief: our blog posts and videos.

Our Best Practices for Managing SQL Server on VMware page links to our posts that talk about why you should virtualize SQL Server, why you shouldn’t, what you need to succeed, and more.

$299: 5-hour online VMware, SAN, and Hardware class.

When you’re the one who has to plan, buy, set up, and troubleshoot production SQL Servers, you need to know about hardware, SAN storage, SSDs, virtualization, and more. Microsoft Certified Master Brent Ozar will save you thousands of dollars on bad hardware decisions and wasted troubleshooting time. Read more about our Virtualization, SANs, and Hardware for SQL Server class.

$1,595: 2-day How to Be a Senior DBA class.

For the last couple of years, you’ve been spending most of your time managing SQL Server. You’re responsible for the backups, building new servers (when you get the chance), and figuring out why they’re slow. You’ve just never really felt confident. We’re bringing this show to Chicago, Philadelphia, and San Diego in 2014 – read more about the agenda and sign up.

Consulting: our SQL Critical Care®

In just 4 days, we’ll work with you to identify the root causes of your database pain points. Whether it’s slow storage, inefficient indexes, or queries that need a good spanking, we’ll show you exactly what’s causing the problem – and train you how to fix it. Learn more about our SQL Critical Care®.

* You are correct: this headline makes zero sense.