As the storm tore away pieces of signage from this local hotel, crowds assembled and began to beat drums in anticipation. “When that first one and the last one go, the looting officially starts!” proclaimed one overly zealous participant.
Volvo drivers really are safe people, as this area resident can attest. “Just in case the water gets too deep, we tow a boat behind our Volvo. You never can be too safe, you know,” she said through a cotton face mask.
The loss of one sign brought the birth of another. While the destruction of this Toys-R-Us store was indeed a tragedy, there was a silver lining in this cloud: God spray-painted tomorrow’s winning lotto numbers on the plywood covering the windows. It’s surely a sign!
The NTSB quickly found the cause of this crash: overzealous window tinting.
A sure sign that the “roofer” who shows up to patch your roof might not be the most qualified guy around: his “work truck” is a Nissan 300ZX hatchback.
Area resident Lourdes Garcia was relieved to find her family photos intact after her home was destroyed by Hurricane Wilma. “Oh, thank God,” she exclaimed. “I just knew that if I superglued them to the bottom of the coffee table that they’d make it through the hurricane. Those nutjobs at the bank wanted twenty bucks a month for a security deposit. I sure showed them.” She then wandered off looking for her nightstands, to which she’d superglued her life savings.
From My Home Webcam
The first band of rain just came through, but the sun is still shining here. I’ve gotten a lot of instant messages and emails from friends asking if we’re evacuating, but no. We’re pretty far north of where it’s going – we’re about 150 miles from Key West, the furthest islands out. We’ve got tropical storm warnings here, but that’s about it. We moved the Jeep to the nearby multi-story parking garage so that it’s protected from flying coconuts. True story: in Katrina, one of the other residents got his windshield shattered by a flying coconut.
The bummer, though, is that this may disrupt the shipment of my new IPOD NANO, BABY! Erika got me one of the new 4gb nanos as a present, and it’s on the way via FedEx. I’m psyched. Those things are gorgeous.
And no, I didn’t win first place in my fantasy football this week. I didn’t even win the game I was playing. Doh. I was playing my boss, though, and if you’re going to lose a game, it should be when you’re playing the boss, right? I can’t even say I lost on purpose, because the guys on my bench didn’t score either.
Washington Ave, Miami Beach
We’ve got some rain, but nothing to get excited about. We actually don’t have any thunder or lightning whatsoever, but little Ernie is still shaking like a leaf since I took her outside while I was shooting a few pictures and movies.
I’ll upload the movies later this afternoon after I get something juicy to show. Hopefully we’ll get a tree flying by, a screaming kid, or maybe Jim Cantori paddling a kayak around.
Back to work.
