Tag Archive: contest

“What Were We Thinking?” Enter the Brent Ozar PLF Photo Contest

Before we set sail on SQLCruise Alaska our good friend Crys Manson ( b | t ) captured a few moments of Brent Ozar PLF together in action in Seattle.

It was a normal enough afternoon for the team– there was a lot of jumping, some surfing on traffic cones, and we almost crashed a wedding by accident. But looking at the pictures, we found one moment that’s hard to explain.

Tell Us What We Were Thinking

To enter the contest, leave a comment on this blog post before 12 pm Eastern (that’s high noon) on Monday, July 11.

Your comment must list what Jeremiah, Brent, Tim, and Kendra were each thinking in the photo below. Pro tip: the captions all need to fit in the picture, so shorter captions may be more likely to win!

The fine print: Contest limited to US and Canada residents only because international shipping is such a pain in the PLF.  If you’re abroad, you can still enter, but you won’t get the prize – we’ll designate an honorary US/Canada winner on your behalf.

Fabulous Prizes!

We’ll immortalize the winning entry’s genius in a version of the picture which will appear in the post announcing the winner, and we may feature your thoughts in our presentation slide decks. Great fame could be yours.

But there’s more than fame: there’s fortune! We’re giving away a Brent Ozar PLF book pack– it’s a mix of books we love to read and books we loved to write:

Brent Ozar PLF Caption Contest

Left to right you see Jeremiah, Brent, Tim and Kendra. We have something on our minds... but what is it?

Here’s an example from Thomas Duclos of Pragmatic Works for inspiration:

Captions by Thomas Duclos

Captions by Thomas Duclos

A Drumroll Please… We Have a Winner!

Our winner is James Serra, who truly knew what we were thinking. Take a look:

James Serra -- how DID he know what we were thinking?

A trove of treasures is on its way to James. When reporters asked James for comment on his big win, he responded:

I would like to thank the developers of SQL Server Denali, who kept me up until 3am using the new version, which inspired a moment of creativity of what to write in the captions while I was dosing off at the keyboard. Also, Brent was my inspiration for starting my blog at JamesSerra.com.  And he was my inspiration for the way I dress, but I won’t go there.

Thanks, James, and thanks also for not going there. Really.

For those of you who know James, be careful: he probably knows what you’re thinking, too.

Thanks everyone for your entries!

Kendra Little

Kendra specializes in high availability and performance tuning. She is a Microsoft Certified Master in SQL Server-- the highest technical SQL Server Certification available. Kendra loves databases and software development more than long walks on the beach. Those cartoons in her blog posts? She draws 'em all. Read more and contact Kendra.

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I Think You’re Exceptional. No, Really.

A funny thing happened on my way to becoming a judge in the 2011 Exceptional DBA Awards.  But to get there, I gotta tell you a story about my dark past.

I used to be a developer.  No, wait, it gets worse: I coded web pages in Classic ASP, aka VBscript.  My idea of reusable code was stuff that I could copy/paste into multiple web pages.  I didn’t have a QA team – our idea of testing was to run it a few times on our own machines, and then keep an eye on it after we deployed it to production.  To me, the word exception will always remind me of exception handling, one of the many things I didn’t do well as a developer.

The bad news was that my code sucked, but the good news was that I knew it.  I wasn’t destined to be a developer, and I started transitioning into database administration instead.  I loved SQL Server, hardware, and performance tuning, so I began interviewing for jobs that would let me focus on that.

Along the way, I had a job interview that didn’t go well.  It was a company with offices in multiple states, and part of the interview involved a phone discussion with the head DBA in another state.  The DBA asked me, “If you wanted to monitor for exceptions and problems on your SQL Servers, how would you do it?”

I answered immediately without so much as a thought: “I’d buy an alerting package from a vendor.”

The DBA drilled down deeper, asking me how I’d build an alerting system with things like DMVs and SSIS, but I refused to budge.  I explained that my code simply sucked, and that it would take me way longer to build a collection utility – and even when it was done, it’d be garbage.  The DBA asked if I would use any of the freely available scripts at places like SQLServerCentral.com, and I could hear the DBA’s anger and dissatisfaction through the phone at my replies.  I just didn’t want to hassle with rolling my own software.

Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.  However, that experience pushed me harder to hone my skills. In my epic post Rock Stars, Normal People, and You, I documented my grueling struggle to take control of my databases, my career, and my life.  It was a long, hard road, and it all started with one simple thing:

Guess which one of us is not in IT.

Working in IT for a wine company is hard. Really.

I spent time in the SQL Server community.

I started reading blogs, watching webcasts, and attending presentations.  As I got my confidence up, I realized I could give back too, so I started presenting my own stuff.  The more I gave back, the more addictive it became.

I know you’re exceptional too – because you’re here.

When I go out and talk to people at conferences, SQLSaturdays, and user groups, I talk to people about what blogs they read.  Most of ‘em don’t have time to read blogs.  You’re already in the minority just by being here – you’re taking time out of your day to advance your knowledge.  You’re not getting paid to read my blog.  You’re doing this because you love what you do, and you love to learn.  That’s exceptional.  It’s outside the norm.  Sure, I know, you think you’re just one of thousands here in the online community, but it’s easy to forget that simply by being here, you’re already ahead of the curve.  You’re ahead of the tens of thousands of database professionals who never take the time to read blogs, watch webcasts, and attend presentations.

Red Gate just launched their annual Exceptional DBA Awards contest to honor people like you.  Yes, you.  And I want you to go enter.  Stop comparing yourself to the people up on the podium, and start comparing yourself to the people who never even bother to show up to free conferences in their own town.  You’re exceptional.  Stop thinking of it as blowing your own horn, and start thinking of it as being proud of what you do.  I know you love what you do, because you’re here reading this blog.

Trust me – I’m judging the contest.

I’m honored to say that Red Gate invited me to join Brad McGehee, Rodney Landrum, and Steve Jones in judging the 2011 Exceptional DBA Awards. We’re looking for people who don’t just do their jobs, but they go above and beyond – spending time reading blog posts, answering questions online, and giving back to others.

I’m really honored to be a judge because it’s a champagne moment for me.  See, several years ago, when I was struggling through that job interview with The DBA?  That guy was Rodney Landrum.

He was right to turn me down, because at the time, I wasn’t exceptional.  I didn’t read blogs.  I didn’t know DMVs well.  I didn’t give back to the community.  But you, dear reader, are already far ahead of where I was.  You’re exceptional, and it’s time you threw your hat in the ring.

Go visit ExceptionalDBA.com today and learn more about this year’s contest.

Brent Ozar

Brent specializes in performance tuning for SQL Server, VMware, and storage. He's one of the very few Microsoft Certified Masters of SQL Server, a published author, and a Microsoft MVP. He likes travel, Jeeps, Apple gear, jokes, and writing about himself in the third person. Read more and contact Brent.

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Christmas Caption Contest

It’s the holidays, and you’re not working that hard anyway.  In the comments, give me your best caption for this photo by midnight GMT on Sunday, December 26th, 2010:

Your caption here.

Your caption here.

I’ll pick the winner on Monday morning and post it here.  The winner gets these stickers, SQLskills stickers, and the EFF prize pack including a t-shirt, hat, and EFF stickers that I got for donating $250 to the EFF to fight blog plagiarism.  Contest limited to US and Canada residents only because international shipping is such a pain in the rear.  If you’re abroad, you can still enter, but you won’t get the prize – I’ll designate an honorary US/Canada winner on your behalf.

Brent Ozar

Brent specializes in performance tuning for SQL Server, VMware, and storage. He's one of the very few Microsoft Certified Masters of SQL Server, a published author, and a Microsoft MVP. He likes travel, Jeeps, Apple gear, jokes, and writing about himself in the third person. Read more and contact Brent.

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Giving Away 10 Apple iPads and Red Gate SQL Monitor!

You need to relax and get out more.

We SQL Server DBAs are constantly checking that cell phone, worried about that email from a user saying, “The server is borked.”  When it comes in, we drop everything, run to the nearest laptop, and try to figure out just how bad things are and if they’ve gone back to normal.

You’ll be more relaxed on the weekends if you can do these two things:

  • Find out before the users find out
  • Be able to check health from anywhere

There’s a web app for that – Red Gate SQL Monitor.  It sends you emails when things start to go pear-shaped, and then you can whip out your trusty iPad to check your server’s health and stats from anywhere.  You can see it live now by going to http://monitor.red-gate.com, which shows SQLServerCentral’s database servers.  (You don’t have to log in, but of course you’d use the built-in username/password security for your own SQL Monitor web site.)  A few screenshots:

Red Gate SQL Monitor Dashboard

Red Gate SQL Monitor Dashboard

Host Machine Stats

Host Machine Stats

SQL Server Instance Statistics

SQL Server Instance Statistics

SQL Server Error Log

SQL Server Error Log

All from your iPad, anytime you’re within range of WiFi or a 3G cellular signal.  You can stop worrying about what your server’s doing, and start being present with your family, your friends, and your hobbies.

What’s that?  You don’t have an iPad?

Red Gate wants to fix that.  They’re giving away 30 prize packages, each with a 16GB 3G iPad and a license to Red Gate SQL Monitor!  I got 10 to give away, Steve Jones is giving away 10, and Grant Fritchey is giving away 10, but you can only enter in one of our contests.  To enter for mine, all you have to do is post a blog comment below and tell me where you’d go if you didn’t have to worry about what your servers are doing.  The deadline for entry is Friday, December 17th, 2010, and then we’ll pick 10 random lucky winners to be announced on Monday, December 20th, 2010.  (And if you win, you owe me a picture of yourself monitoring your SQL Servers with your new iPad!)

Here’s the fine print:

  1. The contest is open to professionals with SQL Server monitoring responsibility. Entrants must be 18 years old or over.
  2. Entries must be received by Friday, December 17, 2010. The contest organizers accept no responsibility for corrupted or delayed entries.
  3. Employees of Red Gate, the contest organizers and their family members are not eligible to participate in the contest.
  4. Entries are limited to one per person across the three simultaneous contests hosted on www.SQLServerCentral.com, www.BrentOzar.com, and www.ScaryDBA.com.
  5. The organizers reserve the right, within their sole discretion, to disqualify nominations.
  6. The organizers’ decisions are final.
  7. Red Gate Software and those involved in the organization, promotion, and operation of the contest and in the awarding of prizes explicitly make no representations or warranties whatsoever as to the quality, suitability, merchantability, or fitness for a particular purpose of the prizes awarded and they hereby disclaim all liability for any loss or damage of any kind, including personal injury, suffered while participating in the contest or utilizing any prizes awarded.

So whatcha waiting for?  Leave a comment for your chance to win or check out the contests on Steve Jones’ blog and Grant Fritchey’s blog!

Brent Ozar

Brent specializes in performance tuning for SQL Server, VMware, and storage. He's one of the very few Microsoft Certified Masters of SQL Server, a published author, and a Microsoft MVP. He likes travel, Jeeps, Apple gear, jokes, and writing about himself in the third person. Read more and contact Brent.

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And the #SQLServerPediaTraining Netbook Winner Is…@JBrown414!

Congratulations to @JBrown414 for having the highest-voted #SQLServerPediaTraining tweet on the SQLServerPedia stream!  He said:

“If it looks, smells and tastes like bacon, then it has to be #sqlserverpediatraining. Best training there is.

I agree!  Here were some of the other quotes:

“The best tool to detect performance issues is to use a DMV (delicious meat vitamin) BACON. #sqlserverpediatraining” – @CameronMergel

“Quest has saved my bacon more than once. #sqlserverpediatraining” – @CameronMergel

“select * from #SQLServerPediaTraining” – @charlezhunt

Dr. Ozar MDF, Database Shrink

Dr. Ozar MDF, Database Shrink

“you know it’s serious when Dr’s gloves come off. #sqlserverpediatraining #questqa http://tweetphoto.com/13147759” – @greeleygeek

“#sqlserverpediatraining Excellent training session, so dedicated they even drop test their schwag before sending it out” – @Tarwn

“I loved learning that @BrentO is @kekline ‘s private dancer, dancing for cache #SQLServerpediatraining #questQA” – @SQLChicken

“when @kekline is in the crib, @BrentO drops a Kindle like it’s hot.. #SQLServerPediaTraining” – @SQLJackal

I want to thank everybody who made that training day so much fun.  Kevin, Ari, and I had a blast, and we’re already looking forward to the next one.

Brent Ozar

Brent specializes in performance tuning for SQL Server, VMware, and storage. He's one of the very few Microsoft Certified Masters of SQL Server, a published author, and a Microsoft MVP. He likes travel, Jeeps, Apple gear, jokes, and writing about himself in the third person. Read more and contact Brent.

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Wanna Win a Netbook?

The hash tag #SQLServerPediaTraining could win you a free netbook!

My Lenovo, the Swedish Chef

My Lenovo, the Swedish Chef

Just tweet what you thought of our free SQL Server training event this week and include #SQLServerPediaTraining in your tweet.  We’ll pick up your tweets over at the SQLServerPedia stream, a new feature of SQLServerPedia that we’re testing out, and you can vote on what people are saying by clicking them up/down.

Saturday morning at 9am Eastern time, I’ll pick the highest-rated tweet by user votes and send them my Lenovo S10-2 that I picked up in Sweden during my epic European trip of doom.  It does have a US power supply (now), the extended 6-cell battery, and Windows 7 (not that starter version either), but it has a Swedish keyboard.  If you like, I’ll throw in a few stickers too!

The contest is open to US residents only.  (Sorry, but I’ve had a world of hurt every time I’ve tried to ship something to another country.)  Quest employees are not eligible.  I reserve the right to delete tweets that are inflammatory, spammatory, or anything else that doesn’t give me warm and fuzzy feelings.  I run contests with an iron hand and a Jello brain.

So go tweet with the #SQLServerPediaTraining hash tag, and then vote on your favorite tweets.  Good luck!

Brent Ozar

Brent specializes in performance tuning for SQL Server, VMware, and storage. He's one of the very few Microsoft Certified Masters of SQL Server, a published author, and a Microsoft MVP. He likes travel, Jeeps, Apple gear, jokes, and writing about himself in the third person. Read more and contact Brent.

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Another Giveaway: Keyboards and Mice

Dayton Brown and Netster won themselves 120gb USB hard drives a couple of weeks ago in my Clean Brent’s Office Contest, but now that I’m settling into my new home office in Chicago, I’m finding even more unneeded gear lying around.

If Only I Had Something Insightful to Type

If Only I Had Something Insightful to Type

I have no clue how this happened (well, that’s not true – I have a pretty good clue, but I’m too ashamed to admit my stupidity on the blog) but I’ve found myself with half a dozen keyboards and another half-dozen mice.

Drawing time!

Prize Package #1: a Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000 and a Microsoft Wireless Laser Mouse 6000

Prize Package #42: a Microsoft Natural Ergonomic Keyboard 4000 and a Microsoft Wireless IntelliMouse Explorer 2.0

Prize Package #11: an Apple Bluetooth keyboard and a Microsoft Wireless Presenter Mouse 8000.  Includes a Microsoft USB Bluetooth adapter.

Leave a comment by Sunday the 27th, and on Monday the 28th I’ll draw a winner.

In your comment, put the number of the prize package you’d like to win (only one). This introduces a little strategy; should you pick one you think nobody else will pick, or do you pick the one you really want?  Good luck!

Only one entry per person.  US residents only, because shipping overseas is complicated and I’m lazy.  No purchase required to win – all comments on this entry will be completely free of charge!  It’s your lucky week.

All of this gear is used – albeit lightly, because what human being in their right mind can use this many input devices at home?!?  None of this stuff comes with warranties or batteries, though, so your mileage may vary.  Odds are it all works – I don’t keep stuff around when it breaks, as evidenced by the fact that I’m not holding a drawing for the many Ethernet cables with busted jacks that I’m throwing away.

Update 9/29 – the winners were Brett Flippin (#1), Matthew Chestnut (#42) and Jack Corbett (#11).  Congratulations, guys!

Brent Ozar

Brent specializes in performance tuning for SQL Server, VMware, and storage. He's one of the very few Microsoft Certified Masters of SQL Server, a published author, and a Microsoft MVP. He likes travel, Jeeps, Apple gear, jokes, and writing about himself in the third person. Read more and contact Brent.

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