Before we set sail on SQLCruise Alaska our good friend Crys Manson ( b | t ) captured a few moments of Brent Ozar PLF together in action in Seattle.
It was a normal enough afternoon for the team– there was a lot of jumping, some surfing on traffic cones, and we almost crashed a wedding by accident. But looking at the pictures, we found one moment that’s hard to explain.
Tell Us What We Were Thinking
To enter the contest, leave a comment on this blog post before 12 pm Eastern (that’s high noon) on Monday, July 11.
Your comment must list what Jeremiah, Brent, Tim, and Kendra were each thinking in the photo below. Pro tip: the captions all need to fit in the picture, so shorter captions may be more likely to win!
The fine print: Contest limited to US and Canada residents only because international shipping is such a pain in the PLF. If you’re abroad, you can still enter, but you won’t get the prize – we’ll designate an honorary US/Canada winner on your behalf.
Fabulous Prizes!
We’ll immortalize the winning entry’s genius in a version of the picture which will appear in the post announcing the winner, and we may feature your thoughts in our presentation slide decks. Great fame could be yours.
But there’s more than fame: there’s fortune! We’re giving away a Brent Ozar PLF book pack– it’s a mix of books we love to read and books we loved to write:
- Attack of the Bacon Robots (Penny Arcade, Vol. 1) by Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik
- The Indispensable Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson
- Professional SQL Server 2008 Internals and Troubleshooting, coauthored by Brent Ozar
- Performance Tuning with SQL Server Dynamic Management Views, coauthored by Tim Ford
Here’s an example from Thomas Duclos of Pragmatic Works for inspiration:
A Drumroll Please… We Have a Winner!
Our winner is James Serra, who truly knew what we were thinking. Take a look:
A trove of treasures is on its way to James. When reporters asked James for comment on his big win, he responded:
I would like to thank the developers of SQL Server Denali, who kept me up until 3am using the new version, which inspired a moment of creativity of what to write in the captions while I was dosing off at the keyboard. Also, Brent was my inspiration for starting my blog at JamesSerra.com. And he was my inspiration for the way I dress, but I won’t go there.
Thanks, James, and thanks also for not going there. Really.
For those of you who know James, be careful: he probably knows what you’re thinking, too.
Thanks everyone for your entries!
48 Comments. Leave new
Love the contest idea! Fun!
— JP: Favorite word time! Go!
— BO: Badonkadonk!
— TF: Filibuster!
— KL: Nincompoops.
(KL’s reply was supposed to be “<sigh> Nincompoops.”)
Badonkadonk really IS one of my favorite words! 😀
–JP: Oh snap! I forgot to pack my trunks!
–BO: Who says “Oh Snap” anymore?
–TF: Who says “trunks” anymore?
–KL: Nincompoops.
BTW, No matter what I try to come up with, Kendra’s thought always works best as “Nincompoops”
Nincompoopery: it’s a word!
JP: Ahhh.. Satisfaction!
BO: NIIICE JP! Next time i’ll give you a lighter for better visiblity.
TF: That should be a fart worthy of the bestest bacon!
KL: EWWWWWWW!!! GUUUUYS!!! Now step back and let me show you how it’s done!
– JP: I’m a lumberjack and I’m OK!
– BO: It’s good to be da King.
– TF: Lad I don’t know where ya’ been, but I see you won first prize.
– KL: One phone call to the sanitarium and it’s all mine.
Jeremiah: mmmm…cookies…
Brent: I love a parade!
Tim: C’mon guys, I *am* taller than Kendra
Kendra: Tim Ford is one sexy mofo
Jeremiah – “Morphine really brings out the orange in a sunset”
Brent – “Oh my, this thong feels good”
Tim – “Hey, I’m talking here!”
Kendra – “Ummm…I wonder if Brent is wearing a thong?”
– JP: I just aint listening anymore.
– BO: You’d gotta laugh, smile!!.
– TF: Look I told you it was this way.
– KL: I told you it was the otherway, stupid men!
JP: “mmmmmmmm #BACON, did someone mention Jager?”
BO: “lol, Now can we get some work done here?”
TF: “No really the pile of #BACON was this big”
KL: “Oh Lord, what have I gotten into?”
JP: “This so beats working in a cube.”
BO: “Friends, food, fun and SQL. Life is good.”
TF: “I absolutely could be a crab boat captain!”
KL: “These guys have no fashion sense…”
Tim really COULD be a crab boat captain!
Jeremiah: “It’s Friday, Friday! Gotta get down on Friday.”
Brent: How YOU doin’?
Tim: Anyone not shocked by quantum mechanics has not yet understood it.
Kendra: …must not bite Tim…must not bite Tim…
Jeremiah as the new Rebecca Black– I like it!
JP(with a smile): I see Rosalyn, Calvin’s babbysitter, is passing by !
BO(very proudly): Look, she has Tim’s «Dynamic Management Views» book, she might be reading it ! 🙂
TF(worried): This is nothing, i see bacon robots are approaching, so big ! (showing with hands)
KL(with an «evil» smile): Let them come closer, I shall «troubleshoot» their «internals», after Brent’s recipe.
btw: at the original text, the authorship of the books is a kind of mixed up 😉
Good eye, Niko! My copy-paste skills failed momentarily, probably brought on by uncontrollable giggling.
Copy-paste skills ??? Hmmm, that was a good one ! 🙂 I am definitely going to add this one to my resume ! 🙂 haha
JP – “Hope that guy doesn’t do a runner with my camera”
BO – “I can smile like this for 10 more seconds and then I’m going to find where this bacon smell is coming from.”
TF – “So he says ‘Its spelled Q-W-E-S-T’ and I said ‘No, Its Q-U-E-S-T, and I should know because Brent used to work there. Pah, what is the NFL anyway?”
KL – “I knew that Jeremiah should have worn the blue shirt”
JP: I AM Superman!
BO: I am… The Batman!
TF: Really guys, if you two were to fight, who would win?
KL: Seriously? You’re debating Super Heroes now??
JP: Y
BO: M
TF: C
KL: A
Jeremiah- How did I get stuck with these people?
Brent- Can I use this in my next blog….
Tim- Yup, that’s how big it is
Kendra- I wonder if I can get away with murder…
JP: Is that a sign for pie over there?
BO: I have so snowed these three into working with me.
TF: You agree? Why isn’t Jeremiah listening to me? Jeremiah!
KL: Hiiiiiii Jeremiah… *wink*
Hiiiiiiiiii Erin…. *wink*
Jeremiah: pffffttttt…..ahhhhh.
Brent: ooh i tasted that one!
Tim: c’mon guys, not in front of a lady…
Kendra: squeeeeeek – silent but violent…wait for it….
http://picfont.com/
Just in case contestants actually want to upload picture and tweak it.
JP: Now I know I left my right thumb somewhere….
BO: Do they even know the camera is on us? C’mon people! Eyes forward!
TF: Swear to god, this big before the line broke.
KL: So that’s how much they love me.
Shocked! I am the only one with my mouth open.
Tim, thats because you are shocked! :p (hiding)
JP… Bret thinks hes an SQL god .. but only a lesser god.
Brent.. I’m the SQL Server god… don’t count Paul R or Kimberly
Tim… Then the DMV said
Kendra… OMG.. these guys are such geeks
JP: I wonder if Brent likes gladiator movies.
BO: Does anyone else know to look at the camera?
TF: I caught an execution plan this big.
KL: rabbits…waffles…escape…
Love it!
I had to PhotoShop (er, Paint) it up:
http://jesborland.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/brentozarplfcaptioncontestjes.jpg?w=800
HAHAHA, nice.
JP: “Brent’s weed is off the hook…”
BO: “I’m glad I let my girlfriend pick out my outfit today.”
TF: “So Brent, Satan and the Pope walk into a bar…”
KL: “Must…. burn…. something….”
JP: “Can work stress cause a ‘repetitive stress injury’?”
BO: “They fell for using my name, but how do I get them to use my look?”
TF: “Kendra is a hybrid zebra humanoid attached to a ‘clapper’…watch.”
KL: “‘Clapper’ activated. Prepare pounce on ‘clap-on’ initiator.”
JP: “If there was a problem…”
BO: “yo I’ll solve it, Check out the hook…”
TF: “while my DJ revolves it”
KL: “Ice ice baby”
JP – Why am I out in public with them?
BO – Yeah, I’ll stay after getting my MCM
TF – It’s not like the boots give me that much height
KL – I’d be ahead of you without those lifts, tim…
http://mikedlynn.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/plf.jpg
For clarification on Kendra’s bubble see links below
1.) https://www.brentozar.com/consultants/
2.) https://www.brentozar.com/archive/2011/07/what-were-we-thinking-contest/#respond
JP – AAAHHH!!!
BO – Kendra is SO gonna kill me when I tell her about the basketball game we’ve planned.
TF – Looking for a zebra, anyone seen it?
KL – Give me RAID 0 anytime!
No offense meant btw, those stripes were just begging for attention! And those safari shorts too 😉
JP – IF We were all Star War’s Character’s I would totally be Han
BO – And I’m the guy that assembled the team so I’d be Obi Wan….Wait Doesn’t he…
TF – There’s NO WAY I could be Chewbacca I’m like THIS MUCH too short!
KL – Scruffy looking Nerf Herders are Hawt
Jeremiah – I’ll get you next time gadget.
Brent – Cha CHING !!!!
Tim – Shoes and shorts – I am SO the man !
Kendra – Why ??? Dear god why ????
JP – I really hang out with these guys; but they don’t see what I see!!
BO – Haha, here we go again; Tims plan to take over Seattle
TF – …if it was this big we could take over Seattle easliy!!
KL – Yaya, big…, Seattle…, How you doin’ Jeremiah?! 😉 Crouching Tim, Hidden Kendra *pounce*
JP: …and then I’ll launch my NoSQL empire!
BO: Really, really, ridiculously good looking.
TF: So I had them shorten the seam by this much.
KL: Seriously, Brent, a Zoolander reference?
me and Callum (he’s two) thought this up this morning while watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
JP: To make this cruise good, we’re gonna need some Mouse-ka-tools.
BO: If we all say the magic words, we can make the clubhouse appear.
TF: I’ve always thought Minnie mouse looks a little like Kendra.
KL: How did I end up here. I want my rabbit
JP: Does this shirt make me look like a lumberjack?
BO: Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!
TF: There had better be bacon in Alaska…
KL: I have to spend a week with these guys? What have I gotten myself into?
J: I hope these guys don’t realize i put too much starch in my pants.
B: This will make an awesome contest on my website!
T: OK, Jerimiah, let’s have it. What’s the big secret?
K: Men, such idiots.
One more for you: http://www.sqlsoldier.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/OPLF.jpg