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Lemme play psychic for a minute.  Put your hands on the monitor, and I’ll tell your future.

It’s coming to me…wait…I see.  Your boss is cutting your budgets.  You know those conferences you wanted to attend?  Those ones that were going to require expensive airfare and hotels?  It ain’t happening.  Sure, the boss might not have told you yet, but it’s coming.

You need a plan B, and I know just what it is: the SQL Server Virtual Conference.  For just $100, you get to watch me and a whole bunch of other people give video presentations on topics.

This $100 conference isn’t just a way to cut conference costs: here’s how  you sell it to the boss. “Boss, while I was washing your car, I got to thinking.  For $100, I can get access to this virtual conference, and they’re going to cover a bunch of topics that would take me weeks to research on my own.  The SSWUG presenters are really good, and here’s the best part: they have Q&A sessions.  I can ask them questions about issues that we’d normally have to call consultants for.  The Q&A sessions are like picking the best brains around – and I don’t even want to think about how much it’d cost to ask Stephen Wynkoop or Paul Neilson a question.  Heck, I bet they bill out at $100/hour by themselves – and for $100, I get hours and hours of sessions with these folks!”

Looking deeper into my crystal ball, I can tell you that I’ll be doing a few presentations:

Dealing with Virtual Database Servers (400 Level)

So the sysadmins told you they’re virtualizing your servers, and they told you to just get over your fears.  In this session, we’ll talk about real-world experiences with virtual SQL Servers and discuss how to help your sysadmins avoid implementation mistakes that will kill SQL Server performance.  You’ll learn:

1. Why a virtual disk drive isn’t a normal disk drive
2. How virtual server resource allocation works, and how it impacts SQL Server
3. Why performance monitoring works differently for virtual servers

Attendees should be familiar with performance tuning concepts like using Perfmon and selecting RAID levels, but don’t need any familiarity with virtualization software like VMware or Hyper-V.

SAN Tips for First-Time Users (300 Level)

Considering moving your databases from local disk to a SAN?  This session will cover some of the risks and rewards, as well as tips and tricks that the sales folks don’t cover.  We’ll talk about how to get the most out of your SAN from the beginning with a good initial design.  The session goals will include:

1. The difference between shared drives and dedicated drive allocations
2. Weigh the pros and cons of SAN snapshot backups
3. The iSCSI versus Fibre Channel decision process

Attendees should be DBAs or managers thinking about SAN storage, but no SAN experience is required.

Finding your Storage Bottlenecks with SQLIO (500 Level)

This session will explain common storage bottlenecks with real-world examples.  I’ll explain how to use Microsoft’s free command-line tool, SQLIO, to probe your environment for these bottlenecks.  Finally, I’ll talk about how to share these results with your SAN team to work together on improvements.  I’ll talk about:

• Speed limits at the HBA, SAN switch, multipath and SAN controller levels
• Show how to probe those limits with SQLIO
• Explain how to compile SQLIO results into a database for reporting and comparison

Attendees should be senior DBAs with a few SAN-connected servers that want to understand why performance isn’t what they expect.

Virtualized Storage Pros & Cons (300 Level)

I’ll talk about the advantages for database administrators and some common implementation pitfalls.  You’ll walk away with at least 3 pieces of knowledge:

1. What virtualized storage is, and how it’s different from the SANs of old
2. How virtualized storage can help with new servers
3. How to plan to migrate existing servers to virtual storage

Attendees should be familiar with basic storage concepts like arrays, luns and RAID levels.

Why You Should Attend My Sessions

SAN gear costs hundreds of thousands of dollars.  Wanna know what happens when you make the wrong buying decision?  Here are your options:

• Blow a few hundred grand on SAN gear
• Burn through tens of thousands on SAN consultants
• Hear my horror stories for just $100

I’m biased because these are my sessions, but I tell ya, if you’re even considering SAN storage or virtualization as part of your database strategy, my seminars alone are worth the $100 entry fee.  Go talk to your boss, and then register for the SQL Server Virtual Conference.

Now take your hands off the monitor.  Ah, I see Windex in your future too.